Big Brother House: Naruto style!
by Cataclyptic
Summary: the naruto cast is trapped inside a house! now, they must survive each other and other ridiculus events and people while the audience picks them off one by one! crackfic. please R&R, based on the fic by adorabella. I OWN naruto. you wish you did.
1. Pirates of the Big Brother House

"Hello everybody and welcome to the Big brother house! I am Cataclyptic, the host! This Fan fiction is dedicated to-

"ME!!!!!!!!" Ino cuts in.

"NO IT'S NOT YOU IDIOT!!!!!! GET OUT!!!!!!!" Ino walks away.

"…Retard… ANYWAY, this fan fiction is dedicated to Adorabella, who inspired me with her own BBH. My last fan fiction got deleted by the idiot known as INO so I had to make a new one…But enough of the formalities, let me explain what we do here!" All of a sudden, the cast of Naruto falls down behind Cataclyptic.

"These are the people playing! For however long it takes, they will remain stuck inside the Big brother house until the audience votes all but ONE off who gets a mystery prize!!! And here's who's playing…"

_Team 7…_

Naruto: I'M GONNA BECOME HOKAGE!!!!!! BELIEVE IT!!!!!

Sakura: OMG!!! I'm on television!

Sasuke: Humph.

Kakashi: Yo.

_Team10…_

Shikamaru: _Zzzzzzzzzz…_

Chouji: Munch…munch…munch…

INO(whom I despise): I (hic) am NOT (hic) DRUNK!!

_Team 8…_

Hinata: (faints because she is in the presence of naruto)

Kiba: Oh great, Hinata fainted again!

Shino: (sighs)

_Team freak… I mean "guy"_

Neji: Curse my destiny…

Tenten: I'm with you….

Lee: OMG!!! THIS PLACE IS SUCH A YOUTHFUL GATHERING FOR YOUTHS SUCH AS OURSELVES!!!!!!!

Might guy: I KNOW LEE!!!! COME KAKASHI!! BASK IN THE POWER OF... YOUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_The sand Nin…_

Kankuro: Hello fellow puppeteers!

Temari: Hi!!

Gaara: I will kill you all…

_And last but not least…_

Third Hokage: Hmm? What am I doing here???

"OKAY! Now it's time for the game to begin!"

* * *

The cast of naruto poofed into the room of an unbelievably huge mansion. Cataclyptic poofed in front of them. 

"Okay, now, there are only four rules for you to follow:

1 You may not leave the house except to get food and water

2 I will sometimes host competition and/or events

3 Ino is a drunken retard so

4 Try to kill her or get her voted off ASAP."

"HEY(hic)!!!!!!!" Ino screamed.

"Okay everybody! It begins!!!" C poofed out. Then, he poofed back in.

"Oh, by the way, TIME TO PAY INO!!!!!!!!!"

"OH (hic) CRAP!!!" C dragged Ino away...

* * *

"Man, Cataclyptic was sure mad at Ino! Believe it!" Naruto said to his friends Shikamaru and Kankuro. 

"Yeah!" Kankuro agreed. "I wonder what he's going to do to Ino…"

_Meanwhile outside of the BBH…_

"Wow Cataclypt(hic) you're so (hic) nice to (hic) give me a free (hic) kitty!!"

"Yeah Ino… suuuuuuuureeeeeee…" Cataclyptic said with a maniacal grin. "In fact, I'm going to give you _ten _kitties!"

"Oh boy!!!" Ino shrieked. "And I thought (hic)

You were (hic) Gonna kill (hic) me!!!"

"Oh, don't worry, I would _never_ do that…" C said calmly, grin still wide

"Do what?"

C and Ino walked until they saw a giant hole in the ground.

"The kitties are down there!" C pointed in the hole. Ino noticed a sign it said **TIGER PIT **but, because Ino is stupid, she thought it said **FREE KITTIES!!!** Ino leapt down into the pit…

"Did you hear that? Believe it?" Naruto said.

"Hear what?" Shika replied. Naruto announced

"Didn't you hear some kind of' high pitched scream? Believe it?" Shikamaru and Kankuro shrugged. After walking around the house for awhile, they realized that it was boring here. Though Cataclyptic had given them a monstrous house, he had forgotten to put things in it.

"This place is boring!!!!" Kankuro screamed for no particular reason.

"I wish we had something to do! Believe it!" Naruto screamed.

"Be careful…" Sakura warned "You may just get what you wish for…"

"REALLY???" Naruto looked in disbelief. "I WISH I WAS HOKAGE! BELIEVE IT!!!"

"And I wish Tsunade-dono's chest was bigger!" Jiraya popped in. Naruto and Sakura stared. Then, from out of nowhere, Tsunade jumped up and beat the crap out of Jiraya. Suddenly, the ground began to rumble. It got louder and louder and louder, until, from the biggest part of the house, a pirate ship rose from beneath the wooden floor. The words _Black pearl _were engraved at the side. Two figures emerged and looked down from on top of the ship. The naruto cast blinked, and the two up there blinked back. This continued for awhile until one of them said

"YOU IDIOT JACK!!!!!! YOU TURNED IT UPSIDE-DOWN THE WRONG WAY!!!!!!!!

"But that doesn't make any-" Jack started to protest.

"I DON'T GIVE A-" Suddenly, two more characters emerged; One was a girl, and the other was Elizabeth swan.

"Are we there yet Barbossa?" Elizabeth asked. Barbossa turned to her.

"THAT IDIOT JACK SPARROW CAPSIZED THE BOAT THE WRONG WAY!!!!" Elizabeth gasped and looked down at the Naruto cast.

"What sort of world are we in?"

"Some sort of freakish anime world it be…" Barbossa replied grimly. Then he lit his pipe, blew some smoke rings and announced

"Alright me harties! We must capsize the pearl again so get to it!"

"I' won work." Tia dalma appeared suddenly. Barbossa turned to her.

"And why would that be?"

"De spell only work every sundown, which occur every twenty fo' hour."

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!" Will suddenly screamed.

"HOW WILL GIRLS ENJOY MY SEXINESS IN THIS FREAKISH ANIME WORLD!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" Barbossa patted wills shoulder.

"Don't worry lad… after all, we're pirates! We can make the best of any situation!" about two minutes later Barbossa, Jack sparrow, Will turner and Elizabeth swan jumped from the ship and placed a flag in the spot where they landed.

"I claim this land in the name of meself, Barbossa!"

"Hey! You can't control the big brother house! Believe it!" Naruto built up chakra in his palm.

"SPIRALING SPHERE!" the sphere blew up in his face because Naruto is a loser. Suddenly, Cataclyptic poofed in the room.

"AND JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING IN MY BBH!?!?!?!?" Barbossa snickered.

"We be takin' it over! And you can't stop us! GARHARHARHARHAR!!!!" C turned Barbossa into a white crab. The crab scurried off until C caught him and put Barbossa in a jar. C turned to the remaining three.

"Alright, you can stay in my house until sundown, but if you try to take it over, you'll end up like HIM!" they quickly agreed. After awhile, the Naruto cast began to interact with them.

Excuse me boy," Jack turned to Naruto.

"My name's Naruto not boy! Believe it!"

"Right. Whatever. Anyway, can you tell me what's wrong with this?" Jack held up an empty bottle of rum.

"Umm, it's empty?" Naruto guessed. Jack smiled

"Good boy! Now could you please fix it?" he shoved the bottle into Naruto's hands. Naruto shoved it back.

"We don't have any rum!" Naruto said.

"I can make rum…" Gaara interjected

"No you can't Gaara! And stop stealing my eyeliner!" Temari pointed towards Gaara's eyes.

"Stop stealing my air…" Gaara responded. Temari laughed.

"That's silly Gaara! It's not just your air, it's my air and Kankuro's air and-"

Gaara's sand began to rise.

"I-I mean it is YOUR air Gaara, um, I'll stop breathing now okay?" Temari stopped breathing. Gaara's sand fell back in his gourd and then he turned back to Jack.

"Give me a second…" Gaara said. Then, he took the rum bottle and looked around. He saw Lee and walked over to him.

"Hey, Lee, I need to show you something… uh… youthful, in the kitchen."

"OMG!!!! I LOVE YOUTH!!!!!" Lee exclaimed. He followed Gaara into the kitchen and closed the door. A second later, there was a muffled "sand burial" was heard. About a minute later, Gaara came out with the rum bottle filled up. He walked over to Jack Sparrow and handed him the rum bottle. Jack looked inside to make sure it was rum. He saw red fluid inside, so he thought it was. Jack drank the bottle and exclaimed

"Wow! This rum is good! What do you call it?"

"Bloody rum…" Gaara smiled. Within seconds, Jack had drained the bottle.

"Could you fill it up again?"

"It'll cost you…" Jack dug into his pocket, and gave Gaara two gold coins.

"Two rounds mate!" Jack said happily. Gaara walked over to Tenten and Neji.

"Could you help me find Lee, I think I saw him in the kitchen…" Neji and Tenten followed Gaara into the kitchen…

_Meanwhile…_

Will was still crying because he was not being admired by girls. He was crying so much, that sasuke ran over and smacked him to the ground.

"WILL YOU STOP IT!!!! Who cares about Fan girls!!! I have enough already!!!" Suddenly, Will stopped crying.

"You-you have fan girls?"

"Yeah. Why? Do you?"

"I have tons!!!"

"ME TOO!!!" Sasuke and Will were off talking about the crazy experiences they had with girls. this continued for awhile until Sasuke held up his hand and said

"Hey… do you want to have a Fan-girl fight…?" Will nodded his head up and down. Sasuke bit into his thumb.

"SUMMONING JUTSU!" Sasuke's fan girls poofed in. Will bit into his thumb also.

"SUMMONING JUTSU!" Will's fan girls poofed in. Then they both announced

"Fan girls! We command you to fight each other!!!" The fan girls immediately began to beat the crap out of the opposite side. Elsewhere in the room, Jack downed his eighth mug of "bloody rum". Strangely enough, the same number of people were missing from the BBH… no one had seen Team freak- I mean guy, the third hokage, Temari, Shikamaru, Chouji and Kakashi. Anyway, Sakura and Elizabeth found an old radio and began dancing on the floor with the rest of the cast, Except Gaara who was making rum, and Jack who was drinking it.

"Have you seen Sasuke?" Sakura asked Elizabeth.

"If you mean that guy with the Pepsi cola symbol on his back, no I haven't." Suddenly, Sasuke and Will zoomed past the girls with a horde of Fan girls after them. Apparently, the girls had decided that they both were hot, so they made a truce to capture them. The Fan girls zoomed into another room of the house. Then, Sasuke and Will peeked from behind their genjutsu.

"Crap! We have to find another hiding place Will! Its only a matter of time before they pick up our scent…"

"I know where you can hide…" Sasuke and Will turned around to meet Gaara.

"Follow me…" Gaara led Will and Sasuke into the kitchen. A minute later, Gaara emerged with two bottles of rum in his hands. He gave them to Jack who in return, gave Gaara two gold coins. Meanwhile, only Naruto, Sakura, Elizabeth, Hinata were dancing.

"Hey Hinata! Watch this dance move! Believe it!" Naruto tripped and fell on his face. Hinata fainted because she was in the presence of Naruto. Gaara seized this opportunity to grab Hinata and drag her into the kitchen…

_The next day…_

"Bye bye! Thanks for the rum!" Jack waved to the members of the BBH.

"Bye…" Gaara answered back. The black pearl capsized itself and sunk beneath the floor boards. Then, Cataclyptic poofed in.

"And now for today's random daily-

He looked down. All he saw was Gaara holding a sack full of gold coins.

"Gaara…" C looked at him.

"DID YOU KILL ALL THE MEMBERS OF THE BBH AND THEN USE THEIR BLOOD TO PASS OFF AS RUM WHICK YOU SOLD TO JACK!?!?!?!"

"Yes…" Gaara replied meekly.

"THAT WAS PURE GENIUS!!!!!" C announced. Then he looked at Gaara proudly.

"Well, since you're the last one left, you win!!!"

"WHAT!!!!!!" C and Gaara turned around. They saw all of the people that Gaara had killed in ghost form.

"You can't do that! Gaara cheated!" Kankuro said.

"I never said you couldn't win by killing…" C replied. "Besides, Gaara is the coolest one!"

"No he's not, I am!!" Sasuke said angrily.

"Uh, no. you're Gay."

"AM NOT!!!"

"Yes you are, I saw you kissing Naruto in his sleep…"

"WHAT!!!!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Anyway… Gaara is the victor because you all suck."

"YOU CAN'T END THIS STORY ON THE FIRST CHAPTER!!!" Temari stated. "THINK OF THE FANS!!!"

C thought for a moment and realized that Temari was right. His fans would send Hate-mail to him if he ended the story now.

"Okay, fine. You will all be revived in the next chapter." C poofed out and everybody cheered. Then C poofed back in.

"Except Ino." Everybody cheered harder.


	2. The search for Itachi

a/n: I forgot to mention that there are 5 rooms in the b.b.h, the girls in one, the teachers in another, Naruto, Sasuke, Kankuro and Shika in the third, Gaara, Lee and Neji in the fourth, and Chouji, Shino and Kiba in the last. Also, there is a summoning scroll by the refigerator which summons yours truly. Ino does not have one because she is a fat pig and deserves to die. so there.

(this chapter is rated R for Really stupid.)

* * *

It was quiet in the big brother house. That is because it is nighttime. This means they are allasleep. Which, logically, means that they are quiet, except for Kankuro, who snored. So there. 

_Outside the b.b. house…_

???: "Twas the day before Tuesday, and all through the night, not a creature was stirring… so that Itachi could **smite**!"

CRASH!!!!!

BEEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! ( ect.)

"What the hell?!?!?!" Kiba shouted as the alarm boomed through the entire house. Everybody else in the house woke up the same way he did- startled and confused. Suddenly, Cataclyptic's voice boomed over an intercom.

"Attention all members of the house! We're doing an emergency meeting in the living room! Effective immediately!" The members of the house did as he said, and marched straight on to the living room. After about ten minutes, all members were fully dressed, and had come down to the living room to hear C out.

Cataclyptic cleared his voice and began to speak. "As you have heard, there was avery loud alarm earlier, the intruder alarm… which means, that there's an intruder in this house!! I believe that this intruder is Itachi who-" "ITACHI!!!!!!!!" Sasuke snarled in reaction to the name " I

KILL!!!! KILL!!! KILL ITACHI!!!!!!!" "OH SNAP!!! SOMEBODY GIVE HIM THE MEDICATION!!!!!!" Someone yelled as Sasuke started to shred the living room. Thinking quickly, Hinata took a shot from under her jacket and, using her byakugan, managed to thrust it into sasuke.

"ITAchi……" Sasuke then went to sleep. C soon began to speak again

"Okay…uh… anyway… I think that it's Itachi, and considering he's from Akatsuki, I'd say he either wants to A: kill us, B: get the demon fox, or C: try and take over the world. So we need to find him!" Everybody agreed. "Okay!" C continued

"We shall split into teams! The girls will search the northern halls, and Shino, Kiba Gaara and Shikamaru will search the southern halls."

"RIGHT!"

They all said as they quickly speeded up to look for their enemy. "Lee, Neji, Kankuro, Chouji, you're with me. We're going into the basement." All five proceeded proceeded down the basement when suddenly…

"Hey wait a minute! Where's Lee?" C turned around. Lee was nowhere to be found…

"That's weird." Shikamaru said "Lee loves anything to do with training. Let's go look in his room."

_Room 4…_

"Lee?" Chouji called out into the dark. There was a muffled sound of a paper bag being moved. Then silence. Neji found the lights and turned them on. In the left corner of the room sat Lee with a paper bag on his head.

"Hey Lee, we're going!" C said impatiently. Lee only murmured "Their gone…" Everybody scratched their heads…

"Their gone…" Lee said once more. Kankuro walked over to Lee

"C'mon Lee." Kankuro said as he pulled off his paper bag "Times a wasting' so- OH MY GOD!!!!!!" Kankuro screamed suddenly when he looked at Lee. The others rushed over.

"What's wrong Kan- OH MY GOD!!!!" The others screamed in unison as they looked at Lee. This was because- HIS EYEBROWS WERE GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Their gone!" Lee blubbered. "And something's in the toilet!" Everybody checked the toilet. In it, they saw an orange jump- suit followed by a "believe it" cry. The each turned back to the eyebrow-less freak… I mean Lee. He was still crying in a fetal position.

"Don't worry Lee!" Chouji said to his friend "We'll help you find your eyebrows!"

_The basement of the b.b.h…_

Fortunately, they managed to stop Lee from crying long enough to get into the big brother house's basement.

"Now be careful." C warned the others as they climbed down the stairs. "Itachi could be anywhere… or worse…" Neji was confused. "What do you mean by "worse"?" he asked as they reached the bottom. C turned on the lights and right in front of him was Ino, sucking on her foot.

"Like that. Ino, why the hell are you sucking your foot?" Cataclyptic said "Because (hic) you never told (hic) me what to do!" she replied. C thought for a second and said "Okay, I know what you can do…"C strapped her in a metal table.

"Okay! This job is so easy, that even you can do it!" Cataclyptic said. "simply tell me if this hurts!"

Suddenly, the ceiling crashed down on Ino when it lifted up, a beat up ino looked at them.

"It (hic) hurt..."

C smiled. "Good! Keep doing it!" a midget with a controller in his hand pushed the button and the cieling began to crash down at ino at numerous speeds.

"Wow." Neji said "You can really hold a grudge, can't you?"

Everybody left. Suddenly, there was a muffled scream from behind

the door! Lee yanked it open to reveal Itachi holding two brown creatures squirming in his grasp. "MY EYEBROWS!!!" Lee said.

"Those are your eyebrows!?!?!?" Everyone else said. "Don't you dare hurt Bonnie and Clyde!" Lee continued.

"YOU NAMED YOUR EYEBROWS?????" everyone gasped. Lee then tried to beat Itachi into pulp by the reverse lotus, but to no avail. Then Naruto appeared out of nowhere and screamed

"I will save the day! Believe it!" Then Naruto charged in front of the others and took off his jumpsuit.

"Why did you just take off your jumpsuit?" Neji asked

"It's cause he's a stripper!" Kankuro whispered. Itachi sniggered some more.

"NUH UH!!! It's cause I developed a new jutsu!!! Believe it!" Naruto gathered his chakra.

"ORANGE JUMPSUIT ANIMATION NO JUTSU!!! (believe it!)" The jumpsuit came to life and ran towards Itachi. Itachi touched it and it became lifeless again.

"NO!!! How could he figure out my jutsu's only weakness!"

"Which is-?" Neji inquired.

"If anyone touches the jumpsuit, it dies."

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU EVEN DO THAT THEN!!!!"

"Uh, umm... good question." Everyone glared at Naruto. Even Lee's eyebrows.

"Uh... Hey! I know! RASENGAN!!!!" The Rasengan blew up in Naruto's face and he was sent flying backward. Unfortunately, he hit the others and knocked them all out.

_Later..._

Everyone was tied to a pole by a rope. They awoke to Cataclyptic screaming

"GODDAMMIT NARUTO!!!!" Cataclyptic tried to kill Naruto, but he couldn't move thanks to the rope.

"WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE, YOU ARE DEAD!!!!" Itachi looked up.

"Really?" He let C out of the rope.

"Thanks Itachi!" C said.

"Anything for an old Akatsuki Member." Itachi replied.

"WHAT!?!!?!?" Everyone gasped. C beat the pulp out of Naruto.

"Help us Cataclyptic!!!" They all begged. Except Naruto, he was too beat up.

"I think I'll stay out of this. If more of you die, the less chapters I have to write!" C poofed out.

"Why are you doing this!?!?!" Kankuro yelled as they all tried to get untied. Itachi snickered

"Because now that I have Lee's eyebrows… I CAN INACT MY ULTIMATE PLAN!!!!!!" Itachi then poofed in a computer and said "NOW, I CAN SELL THEM ON EBAY FOR $100!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Everybody stopped squirming to get out.

"THAT'S your plan!?!?" Kankuro screamed. "Pretty pathetic…" Neji added. "Hey! Akatsuki doesn't pay much!" Itachi retorted. "Besides, there is nothing you can do to stop me!!" "Yes we can!" Neji grinned "Because Sasuke's medication will wear off in about two seconds!" Suddenly, Sasuke woke up from the medication. "HEY! I thought Sasuke was upstairs!" Chouji said.

"This fan fiction is messed up…" Lee said.

"Itachi…" Sasuke said. "Oh #$!!!!!!!!!" Itachi cursed. "ITACHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

_Later…_

As you have probably guessed, Sasuke beat Itachi into a pulp, and they had to put him on medication

AGAIN afterwards. Lee got his eyebrows back, and took them somewhere to train along with his stupid

sensei might guy. And finally, Itachi was held prisoner and had to listen to the barney theme song over and

again while in a confined cell. He remains there to this very day. Along with Ino.

So there.

_On the next chapter of the bbh,_

_Pickles are nice…_

_Ino is crazy…_

_And Chouji is a cannibal…_


	3. the battle for breakfast

_12:AM- BBH_

The BBH was buried in girls. All of whom were trying to reach sasuke from under them. I bet your

wondering how that happened. Let me tell you the story…

_7:00 AM- BBH…_

Cataclyptic poofed in for the daily announcement.

"Hello everybody! Here is the announcement: Pickles are nice!!!" C poofed back to who knows where. About 20 minutes later, everybody woke up. Kiba woke up along with Akamaru and was feeling very hungry today. So he went downstairs to the fridge to get some soda. But when he opened the fridge…

"HEY! Why are there only pickles in here!?!?!?" he immediately tapped the scroll by the fridge and Cataclyptic came out.

"What?" he said

"Why do we have only pickles?" Kiba barked. C said "Ummm…. Pickles are nice? But don't worry, all the rest of the food is in the bottom cabinet." C poofed out. Relieved that he didn't have to eat healthy food, Kiba eagerly opened the bottom cabinet door. Only to find Ino trying to bite his hand.

"INO!! What the hell are you doing!!" Ino stuck her tongue at him and closed the cabinet door. He tapped the summoning scroll yet again and in poofed in C.

"Geez, what do you want now?" He said. Kiba replied

"Ino is guarding all the food and won't get out!" C thought for a second and concluded

"Must be her emo corner." Kiba said

"I know that! But how do we get her out!?!?" C sighed "Alright, alright, I'll try to develop a sanity potion to make her normal." C poofed out. Unfortunately, Kiba could not wait until that happened so he ran out to try and find a way to remove Ino. He managed to gather up everybody else who was hungry, which was just Chouji and Temari. Temari thought for awhile and said

"Okay! We need someone strong to capture Ino. Someone like-"

"Shikamaru?" Chouji blurted out.

"No no." Temarianswered.

"No," Chouji said "I mean, do we eat Shikamaru first?" everybody stared.

"We're not eating anybody you idiot!" Suddenly, Temari slapped her hands together. "I know!" she said excitably

"We can use my super strength pills to get buff and beat the snot out of Ino!" Kiba smiled

"Yeah!" Temari reached into her pocket and pulled out a pill box. But it was empty.

"That's weird…" Temari frowned.

"There were at least ten in here last time…" Kiba sighed

"Then I guess it's plan B, find a really strong person..."

_later... _

Temari and Kiba peeked in their teachers room. "Kakashi- sensei? Can come down to-

but then, they realized that the teachers were watching make out paradise the movie. Temari looked back and barfed.

"OH MY GOD!! Kiba, can you believe that thier watching _that_ kind of stuff?" but Kiba didnt hear her. He was still watching the t.v. and he had a nose bleed. Temari hit him hard.

"YOU PERVERT!!!"

_Later (again)_

"Okay okay, I'll beat the snot out of Ino." Sasuke said as he walked down with Temari and a very injured Kiba. Chouji was nowhere to be seen. As the trio reached the kitchen, they saw C with a small vial in his hands.

"There will be no need, Sasuke, behold! The sanity potion! Guaranteed to turn idiots into normalpeople!" C threw the vial in the cabinet.

"Any second now, Ino will turn back to normal!" suddenly, there was an explosion from inside the cabinet. Everybody scratched their heads. C slowly opened the door…

"HEYA CATA-(hic)- CLYPTIC!!!" Ino jumped from the cabinet, still her old idiotic self. C was dumfounded

"Wha-? But How-?" Ino said

"I simply reversed the chemical fomula using advanced statistics and prenumbral equations. Everybody scratched their heads... Ino spotted Sasuke

"SASUKE!!!!" she cried. Then she went up to Sasuke and made him drink the vial. Meanwhile Kiba said

"Yeah! We got the food back!" C said "Yes. But now we have a bigger problem." C pointed at Sasuke who was now really really buff, but also looking hostile.

"Oh crud… she must have mixed my super- strength pills with her in-sanity potion…" Temari deduced while looking at Sasuke. C poofed out in fear.

_Meanwhile…_

All of the sasu-fan girls who were watching: "WE MUST DATE SASUKE!!!!!!!!!!"

_The BBH..._

Sasuke was now looking at them menacingly. Kiba whispered to Temari

"Temari… don't make any sudden move, or else he'll rip us to shreds…" Suddenly, Tenten, Hinata and Sakura came down and screamed "EEEEEEEEE!!!!!! SASUKE'S SO HOTTT!!!!!!" then, Sasuke began running towards them while throwing random things at them. All five began to run hard, but Sasuke was still catching up.

"THROW SOMETHING!!!" Tenten shrieked. Fortunately, Sakura remained calm, and threw the nearest thing she could at Sasuke- the refrigerator. But Sasuke caught it. Suddenly, the door snapped and all the pickles in the fridge spilled onto Sasuke, turning him a shade of green. Sasuke then got very angry at this.

"GRAAAAA!!!!!"

"RUN! IT'S THE INCREDIBLE HUNK!!!!" Temari screamed. Sasuke chased them around and around the house. But then, Sasuke took a turn down the wrong hall. Kiba and Temari ran into the living room to come up with a plan. But they saw Chouji cooking with a pot.

"Chouji, whatcha cooking?" Kiba said. He still had no breakfast since 7. Suddenly, Shikamaru burst from the pot and ran out saying

"THAT IDIOTS TRYING TO EAT MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!" Chouji looked at the empty pot.

"Oh well... more where that came from..." he looked at kiba and temari with a hungry look. Kiba and Temari backed away Unfortunately, they ran into sasuke.

"RAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!" they all screamed. Sasuke had them cornered. There was no way out. Sasuke picked up a giant metal ball and was going to smash them. When suddenly, all the sasu- fan girls came crashing down and infiltrated the BBH. Sasuke and everybody else was buried under the numerous screaming fan girls. And that's how the BBH came to be buried in fan girls.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

okay audience, that's the end of the third chapter! which means from now on, you have to start voting people off!

_on the next chapter of the BBH..._

_someone is voted off..._

_the purple menace strikes..._

_and some other third thing happens..._


	4. Pt 1: strike of the purple menace!

_Lair of the Akatsuki…_

"…and then Sasuke totally beat the crud out of me!" Itachi whined. The Akatsuki leader narrowed his eyes.

"Hmm. So, we weren't able to take over the big brother house… and worse still, I lost my care-bear doll…"

"You mean the gothic one that says cuss words?" Kisame inquired

"The very one." was the reply "But never mind that, our only concern right now is to take over the big brother house, and then the world!!!!!" Itachi's eyes widened

"But how will we do that??" The leader smiled

"I have sent an agent of mine with power almost equal to my own to destroy it! Soon, the world will be mine!!!!!" Silence.

"Soooo… what do we do now?" Kisame said. Itachi answered "Want to laugh manically?" The others agreed

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!" More silence.

"Now what?" Kisame said

"Let's play Barbie dress-up!" suggested the leader. "OKAY!!!" they replied.

* * *

"Okay!" Cataclyptic started "As you know, since this is the fourth chapter, one of you must be voted off. I have the tallied votes in this slip of paper!" All of the character's were in the living room, eagerly awaiting the results. Most of them hoped it would be Ino…

"And the loser is………………………………………………………………………………………………"

"Uh, why did you stop?" Shikamaru inquired.

"It's dramatic." C said. "Anyway, it seems we have a tie. Lee and Ino! So I guess I'll send them both away!!!!!"

"WHAT?!?!?!!?" Lee and Might guy said "THAT"S TOTALLY UNFAIR!!!!!"

"Okay, okay… I'll just make Ino go away." C said

Might guy and Lee did a 'teeth ping' and a 'good guy' pose.

"Youth prevails over all!!!" C looked at the deformed idiot- I mean Ino

"NOW GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!" Ino left without a word.

"Now then, to celebrate Ino's going away, LETS PARTY!!!" Instantly, the room transformed into a mega party house. Everybody was dancing to the songs. Naruto tried to karaoke, but was lousy because he said 'believe it' after every line. But the best part of all was when Sasuke lit a bunch of fireworks with the phoenix flower jutsu. When the party was over, everyone went outside to admire the still coming fireworks. Suddenly, there was a scream. A deathly kind of scream. Everybody rushed over to the other side of the house. They saw a giant figure in a black robe, shadowed and a very beat up unconscious Gaara.

"Who are you and what have you done with my brother!?!?" Temari screamed. The shadowed person turned towards the group.

"He was in my way… for I had to get this!!!" The figure held up a strange orb the size of a baseball but with purple swirling masses inside it.

"I am the ultimate evil! I am the purple menace!! I AM-

The person took off his robe and fashioned it around himself in a cape- like manner. As he did this everyone gasped. "It can't be… believe it." Naruto said "He was my childhood hero…" Kakashi stated.

"Who would have thought it would be- BARNEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" C Stated in shock.

"That's right!!!" Barney said. "The TV show was only a cover up. I am in reality, the second in command of Akatsuki!!"

C said "There's no time to explain, but we have to get that orb from Barney! But be careful- he specialized in fatness jutsu's!!"

"You mean, like Chouji?" Kiba said. Chouji looked hurt "No. I specialize in _expansion_ jutsu's. Fatness jutsu's are related, but on a whole new level!!!"

"I don't care!" Sasuke retorted "I'll beat him anyway!!" Sasuke charged towards him and punched Barney hard. But Barney only laughed and said

"HA! My fat is too dense!! Physical attacks will never work on me!!" Then Barney punched Sasuke even harder, sending him flying.

"How the heck did he do that???" Sakura questioned.

"He replaced his bones with springs." C said "By focusing and then releasing his chakra, he can create powerful movements even though his body is 80 fat… but I bet his weakness is that he can barely move, so we're safe if we keep our distance!"

Barney smiled menacingly

"So you would think cataclyptic… Fatness jutsu: glutton ball Z!!" Barney then hurled a gigantic ball of fat from his mouth towards the group. They barely managed to dodge it. But while Barney was distracted, Shino managed to grab the orb using his bugs. Barney then saw the fireworks and fled for some unknown reason. Shino handed the orb to cataclyptic.

"So what does this thing do anyway?" he said. Cataclyptic looked towards the group

"This orb is called the orb of shadows. When combined with its counterpart, the beacon of creation, you can bend reality." The group gasped.

"We must keep it out of Barney's evil clutches! So I will hand it to someone smart who can hide it!"

"Is is me? Believe it!" Naruto said.

"NO. You're the biggest idiot next to Ino!! I was talking about- Neji hyuuga!" Neji took the orb and went inside the BBH to hide it. But while he was there, Barney showed up.

"Hello, Neji." He said.

"What do you want…" Neji said, activating his Byakugan.

"I want you to team up with me and my clone, Baby bop."

"No. I would never betray my friends to some evil overweight dinosaur!!!"

"We have donuts." Barney offered.

"DONUTS!!! Why didn't you say so! I'm in!!"

_Lair of the Akatsuki…_

The leader and Itachi and Kisame were playing with Barbies when the leader's cell phone rang. "Hello? Pizza hut? I would like an extra large cheese pizza with pepperoni and sausage and… wait… you're not Pizza hut? Well then goodbye!!" the leader hung up, but his cell phone rang again.

"Hello? Zetsu? No I'm not Zetsu! Oh, you're Zetsu. Never heard of ya'. Wait… I remember now! You're that deformed plant freak in our organization! …uh huh… Barney has teamed up with Neji and has the orb of shadows?!?! Sweet!" he hung up again. "SOON, I WILL RULE THE WORLD!!!!! but first I need to dress up Ken…"

* * *

A/n: I know, this chapter sucked... the next one will be better! 


	5. Pt 2: The ultimate evil! Barney the fat

Pt. 2: The ultimate evil: Barney the fat!

C was pacing about waiting for Neji to return. Suddenly, he saw the readers.

"Oh! Hello! It's time to see who got voted off." A midget gave C a slip of folded up paper and ran away. Cataclyptic opened it up.

"And the loser is…" C looked down in frustration.

"WHAT!?!?!?! NOBODY VOTED!!!!!!!" C then turned angrily to the readers.

"YOU IDIOTS!!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SEND OFF PEOPLE IF YOU DON'T VOTE THEM OFF!!!!!!!!!!"After the outburst C sighed "I'm gonna be at this forever…" Cataclyptic looked at the cast, but didn't see Neji at all.

"Where the Hell is Neji anyway?!?" He said. Naruto stepped out.

"Didn't you read the last chapter? Believe it!"

"Huh?"

"Neji joined forces with the fat lard!! Believe it!!"

"WHAT? Let me see that!!" C took a piece of paper from Naruto's hands. After skimming it a few times over he exclaimed

"OMG!!!!" Then he looked over at the Naruto cast.

"LISTEN UP!!!! Neji has joined forces with Barney, who most likely has both the orb of shadows and the beacon of creation. Which probably means the end of the world. So here's what we need to do…" C pulled out a diagram. We will be divided into three teams. Team 1 will distract Barney and make sure he does not combine the orb of shadows with the beacon of creation; Team 2, you're going to find and destroy Barney's clone, Baby Bop; and Team 3, you're with me to get rid of Barney once and for all!" C put the diagram away.

"The teams are as follows, team one: Shikamaru, Temari, Hinata, Tenten, Lee and Chouji. Team two: Kankuro, Gaara, Shino and Kiba. And team three is Sasuke, Naruto, Sakura and myself."

"What do I (hic) do?" Ino inquired.

"You don't do anything because you're an- HEY WAIT!!! I THOUGHT WE VOTED YOU OFF!!!!!!"

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……" Ino ran away while tripping over the grass.

"Who wants to go get rid of Ino?" C said. Shikamaru raised his hand and began pursuing.

"Okay! Now that that's out of the way… Let's do this!!! Remember: Barney is an evil of unspeakable and unimaginable power, who knows what he could be planning even as we speak…"

_Meanwhile…_

"I have the perfect plan to rule the world…" Barney said to Neji who was munching on a donut.

"Hmm?" Neji mumbled. As he said this however, they walked straight into the beacon. Barney smiled manically and held up the orb of shadows.

"Soon, the world will be mine!!!"

???: " Hey there!!! You look like a person who likes balloon animals!" Barney and Neji turned around at the sound of the voice. They saw Temari and Chouji badly disguised as clowns.

"Watch this!!!" Temari said. She blew up a long green balloon.

"It's a legless lizard!" Barney and Neji stared unimpressed. Thinking quickly on how to stall them, Chouji blew up another long balloon and combined it with two regular ones.

"It's a sexual part!!"Still unimpressed, Barney used his awesome control of fatness and hurled a ball of fat at them. Barney walked over to them.

"Nice try. But I already know of Cataclyptic's plot to destroy me." Temari and Chouji gasped.

"But how???" they asked. Barney let out a sigh of amusement.

"Because I am the world's most ultimate evil!" Suddenly, there was a rustling in the trees behind Barney and about 100 shurikens and kunai flew straight at Barney and hit him dead on. Lee, Hinata and Tenten emerged from the trees, congratulating Tenten on her feat.

"Good job guys!" Temari said, struggling to get out of the fat like Chouji. But their victory was short lived. Because right then, Barney stood up and shook off the shurikens and kunai with almost no effort at all. Lee exclaimed

"Oh, shoot… We forgot that he's 80 fat!!"

"Actually, it's 99." Barney corrected "C should have done more research. Using his Byakugan, Neji quickly bound them to a tree using a rope, except of course for Temari and Chouji (still trapped). Lee turned to his former friend.

"Why Neji? Why???"

"Because they have donuts!" Neji answered while holding up a box. Barney turned towards the beacon, only mere steps away.

"I will rule the earth!!!" He said as he was putting the orb of shadows in . Temari shrugged

"Well, we tried guys, and besides, it can't be all that bad right?" Hearing the comment, Barney ran speedily over to her.

"HEY!!! My plan is really evil! Because once I activate the beacon, I will…" Barney whispered something in Tamari's ear. After he was finished, she screamed. She turned to the others franticly and said

"WE HAVE TO STALL HIM! YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE'LL DO!!!!" But Barney merely laughed.

"It's too late now!!! Nothing can stop me now!!!" Suddenly, Chouji had an idea.

"What about Icha Icha paradise?" he said. Barney and Neji stopped in their tracks. Chouji continued

"I have a few volumes in my backpack if you want some…" Neji had a slight nosebleed.

"SWEET!!!!" Barney and Neji took the volumes out of the backpack and began reading.

"Baby Bop!!!" Barney called. A shadowed figure appeared.

"Guard me until I am done with these novels!"The figure obeyed and went somewhere else. Meanwhile, group 2 had just come to the mountain when-

"Hold it right there!!!" they looked up. A shadowed figure stood atop a tree.

"You may not pass!!! So speaks Baby Bop!!!" Baby Bop came out from the shadows. He looked really deformed and maimed with various mechanical parts sticking out from him. Gaara looked at him menacingly.

"I will kill you…"

_Meanwhile at Akatsuki…_

"Hello?" the leader picked up his cell phone. "Barney has almost taken over the world? EXCELLE-

**_BOOOOOOSSSSHHHH!!!!!!!!_**

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?!?!" the leader exclaimed. Suddenly, Diedara came from the halls.

"LEADER!!!! Something just came through!!! And we're pretty sure it's not human!!!"

Ino ran through the walls followed by Shikamaru who was ranting something about her being troublesome with a whole lot of cuss words… After they left, Kisame exclaimed

"What the heck was that thing in the purple suit?!?!" The leader shook his head

"I don't know Kisame… I don't know…"

A/n : LOL. I seriously wasn't kidding about the voting part though!!! VOTE PEOPLE!!!!!!


	6. Pt 3: Clone Calamity

_Pt__ 3: __Clone Calamity_

"Hello everybody!" Cataclyptic said to the audience. "It is time once again to see who got voted off!" A midget handed C a folded up note.

"And the loser is……" Suddenly C got really REALLY mad.

"NOBODY VOTED!!!!!!!!!! AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE #$!!!!!! IS ANYBODY READING THIS!!!!!!!!" Unfortunately, only the sound of crickets was heard. That made Cataclyptic even angrier. He started to ramble of a bunch of words that this fan fiction is not supposed to mention with the entire cast watching in fear. After he was done, he turned to the adults. They were sitting bored and reading Icha Icha paradise.

"AND WHAT THE #$ ARE YOU DOING!!!!!!!" He said. The third Hokage looked at him.

"We are reading."

"AND WHY ARENT YOU HELPING US DEFEAT BARNEY!?!?!?!?"

"We'll do it later." They replied. Then Cataclyptic couldn't take it anymore.

"THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU THREE ARE VOTED OFF!!!!!!!! GET OOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The adults were about to argue, but when they saw the look on C's face, they scrambled out of there.

_Meanwhile…_

Baby Bop (BB) came down from the tree. Team 2 could see him clearer now. They saw all the mechanical parts sticking out of him. BB looked disgusting. He saw them looking at him and said

"My specialty is mechanics. And, as a result, I have replaced most of my body with robot parts!" BB shifted into fighting stance

"Enough introduction! Time for you to die!!!" His mechanical arm extended and grabbed Shino by his neck, then slammed him down into the ground. Gaara immediately put a sphere of sand around him. Kankuro realized what Gaara was doing.

"Everybody! Stall so that Gaara can transform into the shukaku!!!" Kiba and Shino understood. Kiba turned to Akamaru and they both transformed into their beastly versions.

"Double piercing fang!!!" Kiba and Akamaru rammed into Baby Bop. But when the smoke cleared, they discovered that BB was a clone!!! As the clone melted away, another Baby Bop rose from the earth. This time, BB looked like he had rocks on him.

"HAHA! Fools! I tricked you with my clone! My real specialty is with earth!" BB hurled a boulder at them. They managed to dodge it. Suddenly, Kankuro summoned his puppet, Karasu. Karasu attempted to attacked BB but BB smashed it with a boulder before doing so. But, Karasu's limbs came to life and pulled out all of its numerous daggers, then launched them at BB. BB was totally impaled. Until his body shriveled up to be another clone.

"Wha-?" Everybody said. Suddenly, another Baby Bop rose from the water.

"I am the true Baby Bop!!! he said. Then he got hit by Kiba and Akamaru. Another clone.

"What's with all these clones!?!?" Kiba questioned. Then Kankuro shouted

"We've had enough of your games!!! Show your real self!!!" A dark chuckle rose from the earth.

"**VERY WELL.**** IF YOU INSIST!**" the ground began to tremble…

_Meanwhile…_

Shikamaru stopped. He had been chasing Ino since chapter 4. It was getting pretty tiring. He looked up. Ino was rushing ahead. And he was sooooooo tired. Suddenly, he got an idea.

"TAXI!!!" A random taxi pulled up. Shika got in "Follow that drunkard!!!" The taxi sped off.

_Back to the fight_…

The ground was trembling as a dark figure rose beneath the earth. As it came up to full height, it stood three times as tall as any mountain. Kankuro gulped. But then he remembered

"GAARA!!! WE NEED YOU!!!" they heard some rustling about.

"After this program…" Kankuro looked very confused. With Kiba's help, he pulled open the sand sphere to reveal Gaara watching Mickey Mouse on TV while eating a box of donuts.

"WHAT THE HELL!!!! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TRANSFORM INTO THE SHUKAKU!!!!" Gaara sighed, then fell asleep. And then Neji popped out of nowhere and stole the donuts. Kiba looked at the group

"HOW THE HECK ARE WE GOING TO WIN NOW!?!?!??!" The monstrous BB laughed

"**YOU CANNOT.**** NOW I WILL SMASH YOU!!!**" but Shino looked at the monster straight on and said

"Okay. Do it." BB looked unsure.

"**UM, YOU'D BETTER RUN!!! I'LL SMASH YOU!!!"** Shino looked calm.

"I know."

"**I'M WARNING YOU!!!"**

"Yep."

"**THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE!!!"**

"I'm sure it is."

**"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!" **By now, Kiba and Kankuro had noticed something. The fact that BB hadn't smashed Shino yet. Kiba looked up.

"Are you going to smash us or what???" BB turned down.

"**RAAAAR!!!"** His a giant hand started to smash down upon them. They thought they were done for. Until Shino told his bugs to eat the hand. They ate the hand. Then the leg. Then the other leg. Suddenly Kankuro said

"Hey wait! I thought your bugs could only eat chakra!!!" Shino turned

"They are. You see, I noticed a pattern among his attacks, and using information we already knew about him, I figured out why." Suddenly, he leapt behind a bush and grabbed a strange green creature.

"THIS is the real Baby bop!" The others were stunned. Then Kiba said

"OH!! I get it!! He's a _clone_, so he specializes in _cloning_ jutsu's!!!" Shino nodded his head

"Correct." Then he planted a seal on the ground and shouted a summoning technique. Instantly, team 3 poofed in. Then they began to walk to Barney…

_Meanwhile…_

Barney and Neji had just read a volume of Icha Icha Paradise (with some nosebleeds) when C and team 7 walked up.

"We're going to stop you! Believe it!!!" Naruto said.

"Oh yeah?" Barney said. Suddenly, the ground began to rumble. The sky turned multi colored and crashing noises were heard.

"What's happening!!!!" Sakura shouted above the noise. C replied

"Barney must have combined the artifacts together!!!" Sure enough, a smug hyuuga had just put in the orb of shadows. Barney chuckled a deep laugh.

"Now my plan shall be put into action…" Lightning flashed and clouds swirled. Team 3 fell to their knees. Barney continued.

"This shall be the start of my absolute rule!!! NOBODY SHALL STAND IN MY WAY!!!!!" Barney laughed pure malice.

"I WILL NOW INFLICT THE ULTIMATE TORTUE UPON EVERYONE IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!!" Team 3 looked in horror.

"I WILL TURN THE ENTIRE POPULACE OF THE WORLD INTO CHIBI'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

A/N: LOL. By the way… VOTE YOU IDIOTS!!!!!!!


	7. Chapter 6 and a half!

"Huh? what?" Cataclyptic, team 7, and barney, were in complete blankness all around them.

"weren't we supposed to be fighting?" Barney exclaimed. they all looked around. apparently, they were standing without solid ground. there was nothing in sight. suddenly

"I know where we are!!!!" everybody turned to C "we're must be in between chapters 6 and 7!!!" the characters looked around in awe.

"Is that even possible? Believe it!!" naruto said. C continued

"I suspect that we will be altered very soon do to the circumfrencies of the polarities enzymes which-

"OH NOES!!! MY SPEECH IS UNDERLINED!!!!" sasuke Exclaimed.

"_And im talking in italics!!!!"_ sakura ranted.

"**I AM YOR FATHER."** C said in a deep voice. the charaters stared.

"**_how do we get out of here???"_** barney asked. C said

"**W**e** have to wait until I update."**

"!!!!ti eveileB ??ekat taht lliw gnol woH" naruto said

**"About a week." **The characters sighed out of boredom.

"_What will we do until then??!?!?"_ Silence. then C pulled out a darth vader helmet at random.

"**U WILL JOIN THE DARK SIDE."** Everybody stared.


	8. Pt 4: THE LAST BATTLE

Silence. Then, C and team 7 leapt up in the air. Barney and Neji responded by leaping in the air too. Then, both teams changed direction and zoomed in towards each other…

???: "YO!! Cataclyptic!!!!" That did it. Both teams fell down in a pile. C strained to get out of the pile.

"Huh? Who's there!?!"

???: "We request the correct direction towards the fan fiction!" at that moment, C broke out of the pile. What he saw was a hick wearing a cowboy hat, a cladly dressed lingerie model with black pigtails, a wannabe gangster with sunglasses and a shirt that said "RAI got bling bling baby" and finally, a freakishly short bald guy wearing pajamas. C slapped his head.

"GUYS!!! I told you that xiaolin showdown II is that way!!!" C pointed them in the right direction.

C: "I ain't tolded you it were over in not them thar hills!!!"

R: "What the heck did he say???"

K: "I have no idea anymore…"

The strange group left the scenery.

"Was that…?" Barney said. C turned back to the pile

"Sorry about that! Now, where were we?" The characters snapped out of their trance.

"Oh yeah! GLUTTON BALL Z!!!!" a huge lump of fat was hurled from barney's mouth and hit the pile, freeing everyone. Sasuke was the quickest to recover.

"Fire style: Phoenix flower jutsu! Multiple fireballs expelled from Sasuke's mouth towards Barney. But when the smoke cleared, it revealed that Barney was none other than… HARRY POTTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAH! Just kidding. He was actually a clone. The real Barney was hiding under the ground.

"Neji! Quick! Destroy Sasuke!!!"

Neji: "I'm on it!!!" and then, for the first time, everyone turned to look at Neji Hyuuga.

"Holy crap! Is that Neji!?!?! Believe it!" Naruto gasped. Neji had turned into a gigantic, fat, perverted, fat, lethargic and fat hunk of lard. Okay, he was mostly just fat. He ate too many doughnuts.

"BYAKUGAN!!" Neji zoomed in on Sasuke's chakra points.

"I've got you now!" Unfortunately, Neji had become so fat; his legs could no longer touch the ground. So, try as he might, he could not move.

"Wow! Look at him waddle! Believe it!" meanwhile, Sasuke said

"Hmph. I have this fight all wrapped up!"

"What makes you so sure Sasuke-chan?" Sakura asked sasuke replied with another "Hmph" and

"I know Barney's one weakness." All the characters gasped

"YOU DO!?!?!??!?!?!!?"

"Yes… you see his weakness is fire because fat _burns_."

"OH! How did you figure that out??? Believe it!" Naruto said. Sasuke replied

"Because I am smart, sexy, good-looking, godlike, sexy and HOT!"

"And modest too…" Cataclyptic said

"Yes." Sasuke said.

"ENOUGH!!!" Barney exclaimed "ACOUSTIC HYPNOSIS NO JUTSU!" Barney then began to sing his gay "I love you song" but C was frightened.

"OH NO!!" Quickly, C pulled out earmuffs and put them on.

"GUYS! Don't listen to the song or you'll fall in love with the first person you see!" But it was too late…

Sakura: "I LOVE YOU SASUKE!!!"

Naruto: "I LOVE YOU SAKURA!!!"

Sasuke: "I LOVE YOU NARUTO!!!"

Cataclyptic: "I always knew sasuke was gay…" But while they were distracted, Barney jumped over and punched sasuke super hard causing Sasuke to hurl backwards. Unfortunately, Sasuke went back a little too much and bumped into Neji, Causing Neji to fall on top of Sasuke.

"Oh no! Now we can't use fire jutsu's!!! Unless…" Cataclyptic looked at Naruto

"Naruto! Use your spiraling sphere!"

"Okay! Believe it!" Naruto created a spiraling sphere. But then the sphere backfired because Naruto is a loser. But, C knew he would fail. That was part of his plan. Because when the chakra dispersed, it rubbed together to create enough friction to make a small fire! And then, using his psychic powers (yes, I have them.) C manipulated the fire to create a fire wall to the back of Barney!

"Thanks Naruto! Now, we just have to push Barney into the wall and he'll incinerate!" C, Sakura and Naruto all together tried to push Barney. But, Barney was too fat and would not budge. That's when Naruto said

"Hey! I have an idea!!!" then, gathering all of his chakra, he punched Barney into the nearby lake.

"Um, Exactly what did you do that for?" Sakura asked. Naruto replied proudly

"Because I remembered that fat sinks!!!" C and Sakura sweat dropped.

"YOU IDIOT!!! FAT DOESENT SINK!!! IT FLOATS!!!!" At that moment, Barney rose to the top of the lake.

"Um…" Naruto replied.

"AND WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU JUST PUNCH HIM IN THE FIRE WALL!!!!"

"Uh… Hehehe…" C slapped his forehead

"GREAT!!! Okay fine! Naruto, build up more chakra and punch him back the other way!"

"Uh, I can't." Naruto replied.

"Why not!!!"

"Because I used up all my chakra… Believe it…"

"THEN USE THE DEMON FOX'S CHAKRA!!!"

"By me, I mean including the demon fox. Believe it."

"DAMMIT NARUTO!!!"

_Meanwhile…_

Barney had been watching C and team 7 argue for a long time. He was getting really pissed. Didn't they know how much of a threat he was to the world? HE WAS GOING TO TURN THE WORLD IN TO CHIBI'S FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! THAT'S IT! TIME TO KILL THEM ALL!!!

"ULTIMATE FATNESS JUTSU: MEGAGLUTONNY FATTYFAT!!!"

The others heard this and turned to Cataclyptic to know what would happen. C shrugged. Suddenly, the ground began to shake! And then Barney began to gather Fat from the air itself and swelled to the size of a mountain, crushing Naruto, Sakura and Cataclyptic beneath his fatness!!! Using all their strength they managed to get their heads to the side of Barney to breathe for awhile.

"Fat… crushing… me…" C moaned.

"Sakura… these could be our last moments together…" Naruto began. "Is… there… anything you would like to do? Believe it…" Naruto puckered up his lips.

"Yes… there is something… I would like to do…" Sakura punched naruto and knocked him out.

"There's only… one thing I ever wanted to see if I died…" C said. And then, if by magic, one of Cataclyptic's midgets came out and handed him a piece of paper.

"Ah… yes… who got voted off… now I can die in peace…" C unfolded the paper. And then he got mad. Real mad. Real freakin' super mega ultra GIGA MAD!

"NOBODY VOTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Then C got even madder and took it out on the first thing he came in contact with.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

C beat up Barney into a pulp and hurled him into the inferno all in exactly 3.76813 seconds with naruto and Sakura cowering in fear. About three hours later, C calmed down, but couldn't remember a thing.

"Hey guys… Where's Barney?" Sakura and Naruto were dumbfounded.

"You beat him into pulp! Don't you remember!?!?!"

"I did???" Sakura decided to change the subject.

"We'd better shut off the beacon of creation before it goes off!!" They ran towards the beacon which, happened to be a few feet away.

"If we press this button, everything should become back to normal!" but just as C was about to press the button…

_**CRAAAAAAAASSSSSSSHHHHHH!!!!!!!**_

Ino crashed through the barrier of this story along with Shikamaru driving a taxi. Ino landed on the beacon of creation and pressed a different button. Instantly, a big flash of light lit up the area.

"OH NO!!!!!" everybody cried out. But when the flash disappeared, nobody was a chibi. Except Gaara, because I said so.

"Huh? What happened?" C asked. They all turned to Ino.

"I altered time to make sure I was never voted off."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" everybody wailed.

"Great!" C moaned. "My life is now ruined. I can only guess what will happen tomorrow…"

"Oh, we won't be here tomorrow! Believe it!" Naruto said.

"What do you mean?"

"We're have to go back to the studio to film Naruto: Shippuden!!!"

"Oh… YES!!! INO IS LEAVING!!!!!!!!!"

_The next day…_

The naruto cast was all packed up and leaving. They would be back in two years(One to two weeks in Fan fiction time). C waved goodbye and good riddance to them as they got on the bus. But as they got on the bus, Naruto couldn't help thinking they forgot something…

_Lake of the Barney war__…_

"HELP ME!!!!!!!!!" Neji said while trying to waddle back to the BBH.

A/n: that's the end of the Barney saga!!! For those who don't know, Naruto Shippuden is the second part of Naruto, so the rest of these chapters will be about them in the Shippuden arcs. Oh and by the way, it should take about two years ( one to two weeks in fan fiction time) for Neji to waddle back to the BBH. I RULE.


	9. The Reunion

Cataclyptic was waiting. After exactly two years (one to two weeks in fan fiction time) the naruto cast was coming back to the good ol' Big brother house.

"I sure hope they don't make it… I hate writing chapters…" Cataclyptic tensed. He began to imagine the bus falling off a cliff into spikes on the ground with Ino's body decacipitated. C chuckled a little. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a bus coming to the mansion.

"Damn." C said. The bus parked in front of Cataclyptic and the cast stepped out.

"Hey look! It's Cataclyptic! Believe it!!!"

"Hello Naruto." C said. Naruto stepped out from the bus, followed by Sakura and Kiba.

"Hello Sakura, Kiba. " Cataclyptic nodded.

"Hey!" they both replied back. Temari stepped out next.

"Hey Cataclyptic! You won't believe it!!! Gaara isn't bloodthirsty anymore!!!"

"WHAT!?!?!? BUT HE WAS THE ONLY COOL ONE!!!" Gaara stepped out, along with Kankuro and sure enough, Gaara didn't kill him. C ran over to Gaara and shoved Kanky (BWAHAHA!!! I gave him a stupid nickname!!!) out of the way.

"GAARA!!! WHY ARENT YOU KILLING EVERYONE!!!"

"I am a changed man…" Kankuro beamed and went off.

"BUT THAT WAS WHAT MADE YOU SO COOL!!!" Gaara looked around. Then he motioned for C to come closer.

"_I am lulling them into a false sense of security…"_ Gaara whispered. Somewhere beneath his cloak, C grinned like a maniac. At that moment, Team 10 stepped out.

Shika: This place is so troublesome…

Chouji: I know! They have nothing to eat here!

Ino: HEYA (hic) SASUKE (hic)!!!"

Sasuke stepped out along with… OROCHIMARU????

Naruto suddenly spotted Sasuke.

"SASUKE!!!!"

"NARUTO!!!!" Sasuke replied. Naruto and Sasuke ran towards each other and started to beat the crap out of each other.

"Not again…" Orochimaru said. Cataclyptic was staring and by the time Naruto and Sasuke annihilated the bus, he screamed

"WTF??? What's wrong with them. Sakura came over to explain.

"Well, Sasuke went to Orochimaru for power to kill his gay older brother and Naruto has been trying to get him back to konoha ever since." Cataclyptic processed the information through his brain.

"So basicly, Sasuke bcame so emo, he passed the emo test to live on the Emo farm with Oro?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"HEY!!!" Oro screamed. C turned to face him.

"By the way, you have to leave."

"I'm not going anywhere!!!" Orochimaru replied.

"And why not?!?"

"Because if I leave, Sasuke leaves with me!!! Kukukuku!

"Crap! Okay fine, you can stay."

* * *

Now Cataclyptic did not want Orochimaru because he WANTED to, he let Oro in because he HAD to. You see, 95 of the Big brother houses viewers have been girls. Why girls you ask? Because they like seeing Sasuke's sexy body. Therefore, if cataclyptic got rid of Sasuke, 95 of his viewers would have been gone. Which means no reviews for him. Now, back to the story…

* * *

All the members from the bus had gotten out. They lined up neatly in a row so C could do roll call. 

"Okay… 2+3 is 5… 5+6 is 11……… Hmm. We're missing two member!!! One is shino, and the other is-

"Wait, I'm here!" Shino said, raising his hand.

"Who are you?" Cataclyptic asked.

"Uh, I'm Shino!!!" Shino replied impatiently.

"No your not. Now seriously, who are you???"

"I'M SHINO!!!!"

"Okay, can anybody tell me who the heck he is?" Nobody had an answer. Then suddenly.

"Trenchcoat? WAIT!!! He must be- a hobo!!!" Kiba said

"I'M NOT A HOBO!!!!!!! YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD RECIOGNIZE ME KIBA!!!!"

"Oh no!!! Poor hobo…" Cataclyptic said with remorse.

"Don't worry!!! I'll let you stay in the Big brother house until you get voted off okay? Just tell us what your name is!"

"I'M SHINO!!!!! AND I'M NOT A HOBO!!!!" Shino screamed as loudly as possible.

"Well, since you refuse to give us your name, we shall calk you- Hobo joe!!!"

"WTF!!!!" Shino said. C continued roll call.

"Well, since Shino isn't here that leaves only-

A large shadow fell upon Cataclyptic.

"Wow! Look at Neji waddle! Believe it!!!" Naruto exclaimed as C turned around. He saw Neji. Fat as ever from the last chapter.

"I'm finally back!!!!" Neji shouted.

"Ah! Neji! There you are! I needed to see you because- you've been voted off."

"WHAT!!! BUT I JUST GOT HERE!!!"

"Funny story actually… during the Barney saga, one of my midgets accidently ate all my reviews. And when we fished them out, they all wanted you off."

"Aww…" Neji waddled away. Cataclyptic cleared his throat.

"Anyway, for the elimination of Barney, we-

"AHA!!!" everybody turned around to see- BARNEY???"

"BWAHAHAHA!!!! I arise yet again!!!"

"Noooooo!" Shino exclaimed. "Now we have to kill him all over again!" Shikamaru took out a machine gun and shot Barney in the head. Barney collapsed beside Cataclyptic.

"Hey how come we didn't do that before?" Sakura asked.

"Because we're ninja's. We don't have guns." Shika replied

"So how come you have one?"

"Um… Anyway, what were you saying Cataclyptic?" C cleared his throat once more.

"Anyway for defeating Barney twice-

"I'm not dead." Barney said below Cataclyptic. Shika shot him with his gun again.

"For defeating Barney three times-

"Still not dead." C stomped on his head a bunch of times.

"ARE YOU DEAD NOW?"

"Yes." Barney replied. C held the mike in his hands.

"FOR DEFEATING BARNEY-

"Oh, wait, I'm not dead yet!" Barney said. C took the microphone and whacked Barney over the head.

"ARE YOU DEAD NOW?!?!?" C screamed.

"No…" Barney said.

"ARRRGGHH!!!! WHY WON'T YOU DIE!?!?!?"

"How should I know? This is your story!!!" C quickly pulled out his laptop and wrote _Barney dies _in the script. Barney shriveled up until he was no more. Angrily, C grabbed the mike again.

"FOR FINALLY DEFEATING BARNEY-

"I have to go to the bathroom." Naruto said

"SHUT UP!!!!!!!" C said. Naruto sat down in fear.

"SHIT!!!! THE CHAPTER'S ALMOST OVER!!! THANKS A LOT NARUTO!!!! NOW WE HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL NEXT CHAPTER TO HEAR IT!!!!"

"But you could just write more…"

"I DON'T GIVE A KYUUBI'S ASS!!!!!!"

* * *

A/n: I got the Shino thing from when Naruto is unable to recognize Shino after the 2 year time skip, but could recognize Hinata and Kiba just fine. Vote who gets to be off the BBH. I can't make another chapter until you do. 

_On the next chapter…._

_C gets to read his announcement…_

_The girls go to war…_

_And a __pokemon__ battle ensues… sort of…_


	10. War and Pizza

Cataclyptic was pacing about, waiting for the chapter to start. Suddenly, he noticed the camera.

"Oh! Hello, this is Cataclyptic and welcome to the Big brother-

Naruto and Sasuke come into the living room and destroy it while trying to beat the hell out of each other.

"DAMMIT NARUTO!!!!!!" Cataclyptic grabbed them by the necks, bashed their heads together and tied them up to a conveniently nearby pole.

"ANYWAY…" Cataclyptic spoke to the other members.

"I have an important announcement to make! You see, because there are too many people in this house, I will have to vote you all off two at a time now. Sorry. But on a positive side, for helping me defeat Barney, I have decided to reward you! A guest will arrive soon with the spoils." The members of the BBH instantly became in chatter.

"Wow I wonder who it is!"

"Maybe it's Albert Einstien!" Chouji said.

"I bet its Orlando bloom…" Sakura said dreamily.

"Knowing Cataclyptic, it's probably Kakashi with porno books…" Shikamaru stated. The others stared.

"I'm just saying." Shikamaru shrugged. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. C hurried on over to the door.

"Here he is everyone!" He opened the door to reveal Kakashi holding a stack of Icha icha paradise.

"What'd I tell you…" Shikamaru said.

"Wait! You're not who I was expecting!!!" C said "And why are you even here anyway!!!! You got voted off!!!!" Kakashi smiled.

"Um, about that… can we come back in? Me and might guy's apartment got torn down…"

"Let me guess. You couldn't pay the rent because you spent it all on Icha icha books." C stated. Kakashi started to sweat._ Kids too smart for his own good!!!_ He thought.

"Please let us stay Cataclyptic!" Might Guy pleaded. "It would be so youthful of you to help me have a youthful reunion for my youthful student!"

"Oh sensei…" Lee blubbered.

"Oh Lee…" the two embraced at the door. C thought for awhile.

"Okay, I might let you stay if you let me have those books." Kakashi handed over the books. C slammed the door in his face.

"That was cruel!" Sakura said.

"Hey, I said 'might'." C stated. Suddenly, the doorbell rang again. C put the books down and pulled open the door.

"Oh! You're finally here!"

"Wha? Who is it?" everybody asked. It was the pizza man.

"Here's $30.27." C handed over the money. "And now- we feast!"

_About ten minutes later…_

Everyone sat down at the table to eat the delicious pizza from Pizza Hut.

"This is all we get for defeating a class S ninja?" Kiba Exclaimed.

"Look. I'm not made of money." C said firmly. "Oh shoot!"

"What wrong?" Kiba asked.

"I forgot to open the letter to see who gets voted off!" C reached down his pocket and pulled out a letter.

"And the person who gets voted off is-

C's eyes opened wide.

"TOBI???"

"Oh boy! I got voted off!!!" Tobi randomly came up and shook C's hand.

"It's been real fun Cataclyptic!!! Bye bye!!!" Tobi ran out of the house.

"Bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu… Tobi???????"

"Umm… yeah." Sakura said.

"He was never part of the BBH!!!"

"Yeah he was!" Kiba said. "We partied all night!"

"But… he wasn't even mentioned once in this story!!!"

"Dude, how could you not remember that Tobi was here???" C stared in confusion.

"I need to see a professional…" C poofed out. Everybody digged in at their pizza's. once it was done, all of the girls went to the girls room to weigh themselves.

A/n: this is only a speculation of what girls do in the bathroom. I've never figured it out, so deal with it.

….please don't hurt me…

All of the girls came into the bathroom to weigh themselves and make sure that they weren't fat. Temari stepped up fist. Suddenly, she screamed.

"AAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!!!"

"What's wrong Temari?!?!" all the rest of the girls said at once.

"I-I- I GAINED ONE SIXTEENTH OF A POUND!!!!" the girls all gasped

"I'm FAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT!!!!!!" she blubbered. All the girls felt sorry for her until-

"OH NO!!!!" this time, the scream was from Tenten.

"I GAINED 1/16TH OF A POUND TOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" the girls gasped again.

"Everyone weigh themselves!" Sakura commanded. Soon, they discovered that they were all 1/16th of a pound obese.

"This is terrible!" Hinata said.

"What could have done this to us and make us fat!!!" Tenten screamed.

"Well, we all had the same lunch…" Sakura said smartly. Suddenly, the girls arrived at the same conclusion: it was the pizza!

"Screw Pizza hut for making us fat!!"

"We should sue them!"

"YEAH!!!!" said all the girls at once. Meanwhile Chouji and shikamaru were outside the girl's bathroom. You see, they had been in there for more than 2 hours and were very curious as to why. So they put there ears to the door to try and listen. Suddenly, the door opened and Shika and Chouji fell over. They stood up super- fast to retain there composture.

"Temari is something wrong?" Shikamaru said "You've been in there for two hours now."

"I'M FAAAAAATTTTT!!!!" Temari bawled. Shika looked over her figure. He couldn't see a trace of fat anywhere except for the obvious place.

"Er… you don't look fat to me…" Shika said.

"Oh thank you Shikamaru!!! You're the best boyfriend a girl could have!!!" she gave him a passionate kiss on the lips. Shika tried to maintain his cool, but could help but blush madly.

"Don't worry shikamaru! We will sue Pizza hut for making us fat!!!"

"YEAH!!!!" All the rest of the girls said. They ran out of the BBH to find a suing place.

_About 10 minutes later…_

The girls had found a suing place. They were now dressed in formal attire and the case of them suing pizza hut was about to take place.

"Okay, does everyone remember their lines?" Tenten asked.

"Yep." All the girls said with determined stares.

"Alright then! We should win this case easy!!!" Tenten said. The girls stepped in the room.

_Exactly 1.275 seconds later…_

The girls stepped out of the room.

"I can't believe we lost…" Hinata moaned.

"Yeah, lawyers are stupid!!!" Temari said.

"Let's move to plan B." Sakura said.

"Huh?"

"If we can't get revenge legally…" Sakura began "We should do it **il**_-_ legally with our superior ninjutsu skillz!!!" The girls smiled…

_About ten minutes later…_

The girls found an ordinary pizza hut restaurant. They were fiercely determined to take it down and Shikamaru and Chouji put up chairs and drinks to watch.

"Okay Hinata! Do your thing!" Tenten commanded as she pointed the building. Hinata focused her chakra.

"BYAKU-

Suddenly, Naruto and Sasuke came out of the building came out of the building trying to pummel each other. Hinata fainted because she was in the presence of Naruto.

"DAMMIT! Hinata fainted!" Temari said angrily.

"I'll get them away…" Sakura said bitterly. She walked over to Naruto and Sasuke.

"Oh, look! It's Itachi!" she screamed the last word. Naruto and Sasuke stopped fighting.

"Itachi…" Sasuke murmured. "ITACHI!!!!!!!!!" He ran off to the direction Sakura pointed to with Naruto close behind.

"Good work Sakura!" Temari said. "But how will we destroy Pizza hut without Hinata?" Sakura thought for a second. Then, she spotted Orochimaru beside Shika and Chouji. She dragged him over.

"Orochimaru, summon the Manda and destroy Pizza hut!" Sakura said.

"Why would I do that?" Oro questioned.

"Because um…" Sakura pulled out the Icha icha novels stolen by Cataclyptic.

"Uh, We'll give you these!!!" Sakura said.

"Oh, wow!!!" Oro said as he flipped through the books. "Okay! I'll help you!" He tapped the summoning scroll on his arm. "SUMMONING JUTSU!!!" the Manda poofed in.

"Manda, Destroy that building!"

"Why should I?" Manda said

"We have these!" Orochimaru pointed towards the stack of icha icha.

"OKAY!!!" Manda flattened the building with his tail. Jiraya came out from under the rubble.

"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" he said. "WHY DID YOU KILL MY STRIPPER CLUB!!!!"

"Your… what!?!?!?" the girls said.

"NOW I WILL NEVER SEE A NUDE LADY AGAIN!!!!" Jiraya bawled.

"Wait… THAT WAS A STRIPPER CLUB?!?!?!" the girls shouted. "THEN WHERE THE HELL IS PIZZA HUT!?!??!" Jiraya, still crying, pointed to the building next to him.

"DAMMIT!!!!" the all cussed. Meanwhile, Shika and Chouji were joined by Shino.

"What are they doing?" Shino asked.

"They're trying to destroy Pizza hut, Hobo Joe."

"I'M SHINO!!!!!!!!! SHI- NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Suddenly, Hinata woke up from all the shouting.

"Huh? What happened?" she said confused.

"Yes! Hinata's awake!!!" Tenten said. "Quick- DESTROY PIZZA HUT!!!"

"Okay!" Hinata said. She began to focus her chakra. "BYAKUGAN!!!!" she attacked the building with her 64 trigrams palms. Unfortunately, because the building did not have any chakra points, it had no effect.

"I'll use my wind!" Temari said as she blew a gust of wind towards pizza hut. The building was made from bricks so it had no effect.

"DUH, INO KNOW (HIC) WHAT TO DO!!!"

"Huh? Why are you here?" Sakura asked

"PIZZA MAKE INO FAAAAAAAAATT!!!!" Sakura shrugged.

"DUH, MIND BODY SWITH TECHNIQUE!!!" it had no effect.

"I'll try my kunai!" Tenten said. "Rising twin dragons!!!" Tens upon thousands of kunai flew towards the food joint at amazing speeds. Every single one hit, but did no damage. The girls turned to Sakura.

"Sakura, you are our last hope!!!" they said "Use your insane strength!" Sakura pondered this.

"I've got a better idea!" she pulled out a pokeball. "Go! Kabuto!" Kabuto Yakushi came out of the pokeball.

"Why the hell am I here…" he complained.

"Who cares! Kabuto, use slash!" Kabuto scratched the brick building. Nothing.

"Use water gun!" Kubuto pulled out a random water gun and sprayed the building with water.

"Nothing's working!" they all said. Sakura had an idea.

"Kubuto, use- EXPLOSION!!!!!" Kabuto exploded and it blew up the pizza hut joint. The girls screamed in delight and hugged each other.

_Meanwhile…_

"Should we tell them that they just blew up another one of Jiraya's stripper clubs?" Shikamaru paused.

"No, they're happy hobo Joe. We shouldn't ruin it.

"I'M SHINO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

* * *

A/n: LOL…. Vote off 2 people now… 

_On the next episode of the BBH…_

_Christmas in __november__…_

_An insane party…_

_And Gothic Hinata…._


	11. SPECIAL: THE CHRISTMAS EPISODE!

_It was an ordinary day in the Big Brother House… Well, as ordinary as things could get with a bunch of crazy ninja's combined with a __Fanfiction__ writer who was hyped up on too much __applejuice__… but that's beside the point…_

The breakfast room was filled with Ninja's because it was breakfast time. Suddenly, Shino walked in.

"Hey Hobo- Joe!" Naruto said ecstatically.

"I'M SHINO!!!!!!!!!!!" Hobo- Joe replied. Kiba nudged over to Sakura.

"Man! This house is so stupid! I mean, we have hobo's, Akatsuki members, and who knows what else in here!"

"Does that count the Geico lizard living in the basement?" Naruto asked.

"The Geico lizard is in the basement?!?!?!" Kiba said in non capital letters. Naruto nodded his head. Disbelieving, Kiba ran over to the basement door. He opened it, and a giant green demonic looking hand grabbed him and pulled him into the abyss. A few seconds later there was a

"**MMM! TASTY!!!!!"** From inside the basement.

"Maybe I should have warned him…" Naruto said. Sakura put her hands on her hips.

"How the heck did we get inside this house anyway?" she asked. Shino ran up to her.

"Ooh! I remember!" he said. Sakura turned to him.

"Really? But how… I don't remember you being in Konoha, Hobo Joe."

"I'M SHINOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Hobo Joe screamed.

"Riiiiiiiiight…" Sakura said sarcastically.

"So here's how it happened…" Hobo Joe said.

_FLASHBACK_

Naruto was eating at a ramen stand, along with most of the Konoha -11. Suddenly, a boy with a purple cloak over his head ran up and tapped Shika on his shoulder.

"Excuse, me, I'm looking for some annoying anime characters to be appearing in my newest fanfiction, Big Brother house." Shika slurped his noodles.

"And you are?"

"Cataclyptic. Now, if you would just sign this contract, I could get you into the Big brother house solely to entertain the audience reading the Fanfiction!" Shikamaru looked at the contract. It was very binding, if any of the Konoha-11 signed it, the contract would take immediate effect, and all the members on the contract would be binded.

"And why the hell would we do that?" he asked.

"Uh… from the kindness of your heart?" Cataclyptic asked.

"Forget it." Steamed, C tried to convince them.

"But if you sign, we will have many events, and parties, and free food!" C protested. Naruto's ears perked up.

"Free food?" he said.

"Yea."

"Does that include ramen?" Naruto asked.

"Uh… sure, why not?" C replied. Naruto squealed in delight.

"OH BOY!!! I'M IN!!!" without a second thought, Naruto signed the contract.

"NARUTO!!! YOU IDIOT!!!!" Sakura screamed. The rest of the cast was equally angry.

"DUH, INO ANGRY!!!!" Ino said.

"WE ARE GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!!!" Kiba said.

_END OF FLASHBACK_

"And that's how it all happened." Shino said. Sakura glared angrily at Naruto.

"I forgot to kill you…" Naruto ran for his life, only to bump into Cataclyptic.

"Hey guys, I've come to tell you who's been voted off!!!" all of the members assembled.

"Wait, where's Shikamaru?" C asked. They looked around ti'll they found Shika sleeping on the couch.

_**BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPP!!!!!!!**_

Shika snored on. Naruto's bear horn had no effect whatsoever. Tenten ran over and stabbed a kunai in his ear. Nothing. Then Temari came over.

"I'll wake him up! I'm not his girlfriend for nothing!" she leaned towards Shika's other ear.

"SHIKAMARU!!!!! I'M PREGNANT!!!!!" Shika bounced out of bed in confusion.

"OMIGOD!!!!" he screamed. Then he looked at Temari.

"You just did that to wake me up, didn't you?" Temari smiled and turned her head back to C.

"Anyway…" C began "The loser is… Naruto and-

C scratched his head. "Sasori???" Sasori waved goodbye and ran out of the house.

"OKAY, JUST HOW MANY AKATSUKI MEMBERS ARE IN THIS HOUSE ANYWAY????"

All of the Akatsuki members raised their hands.

"ALLRIGHT, GET OUT OF HERE!!!! SCRAM!!!" All of the Akatsuki members ran out, along with Naruto.

"Great! Now I can't vote off a second memb-

Suddenly, C had an idea.

"Sasuke!" he said "Naruto's getting away!" Sasuke bolted up.

"NARUTO!!!!!!" Sasuke ran out to follow Naruto. They began fighting as Cataclyptic shut the door.

"That's better!" Catacaclyptic said with relief. He began to walk, when he heard a frantic knocking on the door. C opened it again.

"Thank goodness you're here!"

"Lee? What are you doing out there?" C said.

"You locked me out of the house from last time!"

"Ah, so I did." C slammed the door shut. Kiba looked around.

"Well, what do we do for this chapter?" he said. His eyes fell on Hinata.

"HINATA?!?!" the others turned towards the sound of the voice. They saw Hinata dressed in black with black eyeliner and numerous piercings everywhere.

"Since when did she become a goth?" Shika asked.

"Yeah, and how did she change out of her regular clothes so fast?" Kiba said randomly. Shino walked up.

"You didn't see? Good thing I took these pictures…" the first picture showed Hinata taking off her shirt…

Tenten slapped Shino.

"Hobo Joe!!! How could you!!! Who would want to look at these anyway!?!?" All of the guys in the BBH began to whistle nervously while Hobo Joe ranted something about being Shino. Tenten looked at Hinata.

"What's wrong Hinata?" Hinata solemnly looked up.

"Naruto- kun left…" Tenten slapped her face.

"Of course… What the heck does she see in him anyway?!!?" She turned back to Hinata.

"Is there anything we can do to cheer you up?"

"DUH, INO WANT A CHRISTMAS PARTY!!!" Ino blurted out. Tenten stared angrily.

"Ino, that is the stupidest-

Her face lightened up.

"THAT'S IT!!!" she ran over to Cataclyptic.

"Cataclyptic, give us a Christmas party! That will cheer Hinata up!" C thought about this.

"Hmm… I guess I didn't get to do one last time since Ino deleted my last BBH. Which reminds me…" C ran over and beat the crap out of Ino while ranting something about Fanfictions. He went back to Tenten.

"Okay, you can have your party, but I won't be the one cheering up Hinata. Now stand back…" Everyone stood back as Cataclyptic made mental preparations. He bit his finger and let the blood smear on the floor, then made a bunch of hand signs and screamed

"CRISTMAS PARTY NO JUTSU!!!!" instantly, the room began to blaze with light. Food of all sorts filled the tables, decorations immediately hung themselves up, wreaths magically appeared and to top it all off, a giant tree with numerous items on it assembled in the middle. C looked at his work, then disappeared and reappeared with a box that said_FAMILY HEIRLOOMS_. He opened the box. Inside were various items.

"OOOH! INO LIKE THIS ONE!!!!" Ino picked up a grayish-green rock. Cataclyptic drenched in sweat and screamed

"INO!!! THAT'S THE RAGNA-ROCK!!! IFYOUTOUCHITTHEWORLDWILLBLO-

_**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

The world blew up and this Fan fiction was destroyed as well.

Just kidding. C managed to form a shield of shadows at the last second, so the world didn't blow up. He took The Ragna- rock away from Ino and beat her up as well. C searched through the box…

"Aha!" He suddenly exclaimed. Cataclyptic held up a mistletoe.

"This everyone, is the mistletoe- OF DOOM!!!!" he hung it up on a wall.

"Should two people in a three feet radius get under it at the same time, they will be forced to give each other a passionate kiss!" the BBH members stared in confusion. Except Chouji.

"Yeah right!" he said. "You're a big, fat liar!" C shoved Chouji and Shikamaru to the vicinity of the Mistletoe and they kissed each other!

"AAAAAAAAGGHHH!!!!!" Chouji screamed.

"SOAP! I NEED SOAP!!!!!" Shika screamed. Shikamaru began to wash his mouth with soap as Temari approached him.

"SHIKAMARU!!! HOW COULD YOU!?!?" She slapped Shika hard and walked away. Cataclyptic gleamed a devious smile and poofed away. Kiba found the music and began to do an animal style dance. Tenten tried to cheer up Hinata by presenting her with glorious food, but Hinata declined. Tenten looked and found Chouji boiling something in a pot, and it smelled really good…

"Chouji! Can I have whatever you're having?" she asked. Chouji nodded. Suddenly, Orochimaru burst from the pot

"I'M FREEEEEEE!!!!!" he ranted as he ran away. Chouji began to chase him.

"This party sucks…" Hinata said. "If only Naruto were here…" Tenten gave up and began to dance with Kiba. Elsewhere, Shikamaru tried to win back Temari…

"It was an Accident!" Shikamaru said desperately. Temari slapped him again. Shika miserably went to Chouji.

"Women are such a drag…" He said. Chouji nodded. "At least I can trust you." Chouji smiled and they did a high five. Suddenly, Chouji overturned Shikamaru, put him into the pot, and snapped the lid shut. Chouji sniggered as Gaara came over.

"Dinner should be ready in about an hour." He said. Gaara nodded. Chouji looked around for a second.

"Say, have you seen Hobo-joe? I can't find him anywhere."

"Haven't seen him…" Gaara answered. Then, Gaara pulled out a bottle. "Want some rum…"

A frantic knocking sound was still heard, but nobody cared. Except one…

"DUH! INO GET IT!!!" she said. Ino opened the door to reveal Lee. Suddenly, Ino was pushed aside by-

"I'LL KILL YOU SASUKE!!!!"

"YOU FIRST NARUTO!!!!" They were back. They pulled punched and kicks and sexy- jutsu's like never before, but more importantly, they were destroying everything in their wake.

"RUNNNNNNN!!!!!!" Kiba screamed. All the BBH members ran and his behind a table. Except one…

"OH NO!!! HINATA IS STILL THERE!!!!" Temari said franticly. Hinata was leaned to a wall, oblivious to everything. Tenten ran to help her friend. Quickly, she pulled out a picture of Itachi and pated it on a wall.

"Hello little brother!" Tenten said in her deepest voice. Sasuke stopped fighting.

"ITACHI!?" he ran over to the picture of Itachi.

"Uh… Yes it is I, foolish little brother…" Tenten impersonated. Sasuke drew his sword.

"I will finally kill you Itachi!!!"

"Uh, you cannot!" Tenten said desperately, she didn't want him to see that it was a fake. If he did, Hinata would probably die with their fighting.

"Why not!?!?" Sasuke questioned.

"Uh, you lack hatred!" Tenten said.

"No, you are wrong brother…"" Sasuke said. "I have more than enough hatred to kill you!" Sasuke began to charge with his sword and Tenten uttered her last hope.

"Uh, MANGEKYOU SHARINGAN!!!" Sasuke fell on the ground, clutching his head in pain.

"NOOOOOO!!!! MOM!!! DAD!!!! DON'T DIE!!!!" Tenten crawled out from her hiding position.

"Wow. I can't believe that worked…" She looked over and saw the Mistletoe of doom. With Hinata and Naruto under it.

"…" She said. Suddenly, Cpoofed in.

"Hey guys, I've come to check on yo-

He paused when he saw the pile of debris and rubble that used to be the Big Brother House.

"YOU IDIOTS!!!" he screamed. "YOU TORE APART MY BIG BROTHER HOUSE!!!! I'M GONNA-

He saw Hinata and Naruto kissing.

"Uh…" he said. He approached Hinata and Naruto.

"You know Hinata, I feel kind of bad for you…" C thought. Then an idea sparked up.

"Hey I know! I can vote you off and replace you with Sasuke, that way, Naruto and Sasuke won't be fighting, and you can be with Naruto!" Hinata and Naruto nodded their heads.

"Okay then, you two get out and I'll put Sasuke back in!" he looked around. "Speaking of which, where is he?" Tenten pointed to the floor.

"No… WHY ITACHI!!!!! WHY ARE YOU KILLING MY CLAN!!!!!"

"I need to see a professional…" C poofed away.

_Later…_

The BBH members sat down for dinner. Chouji put what looked like meat on the table and everybody dug in. except Hobo joe, he was nowhere to be seen…

Temari picked up a pineapple.

"Wow. I didn't know that Pineapples had black leaves on them!" she said.

"They don't." Chouji answered. Temari looked in fear at the "Pineapple".

* * *

A/N:LOL. Vote off two more people. AND NO AKATSUKI'S!!!!!!

_On the next chapter of the BBH…_

_Cataclyptic becomes bankrupt…_

_Tenten catches __shakespeares__ flu…_

_And __Orochimaru__ allies with Jiraya for a dangerous mission…_


	12. The debt: OR lemonade and perverts

Here are the current members of the BBH:

Sasuke, Sakura, Tenten, Temari, Shikamaru, INO (vote her off plz), Rock Lee, Gaara, Orochimaru, Chouji Kiba and Shino.

* * *

The BBH cast was once again gathered in the main room. They were waiting for Cataclyptic to make yet another important announcement. Suddenly, C poofed into the room.

"Okay everyone, here's who's been voted off: Chouji and Orochimaru!" Chouji glumly took off with his gigantic boiling pot. Oro went over to Cataclyptic.

"Cataclyptic, I have a request."

"Yes?"

"Can I be voted off at the end of the chapter? There's something important I have to do before I leave…" C pondered this for a second.

"Okay fine. But you'd better leave." Oro smiled and thanked C. then he walked back up to his room. C spoke again.

"There is an even more important thing we have to do…" C cleared his throat. "As you know, the BBH is a very expensive house. And due to the fact that you destroyed it THREE FLIPPIN TIMES we now owe the government 3.2 BILLION dollars."

The cast gasped.

"What should we do Cataclyptic?" Sakura asked.

"Good question. We have to pay the money by the end of the chapter or the Fanfiction is cancelled!"

Silence.

"That's not so bad." Shino said.

"And if the BBH is cancelled because of you, **I WILL MAKE YOUR LIVES A LIVING HELL!!!!**" C said in a demented voice. The cast looked upon him in terror.

"SO, I have proposed to do a lemonade stand to raise money."

Silence.

"How in gods name are we supposed to make 3.2 billion dollars with a lemonade stand!!?!!?!?" Shikamaru exclaimed.

"How should I know!?!? YOU'RE the strategist!!!" C poofed away.

_Meanwhile_

Orochimaru looked on at the cast. So far, they weren't paying any attention to him. Good. He could not be seen by ANYONE, for the mission he was going to do involved complete secrecy… but even that alone was not enough. He would also need someone who was at his skill level…

Orochimaru picked up a phone and dialed a number. Soon, there was a beeping noise.

_"Hello?"_

"Jiraya! Its me, Orochimaru!"

_"Look, I don't have any smokes right now, call me later."_

"Dang it! But there's something else Jiraya…"

_"Yeah?"_

"I want you to do an extremely dangerous mission with me. Should we succeed; the reward will be beyond your imagination! But should we fail, the penalty is death. That is why I need you."

_"What's the mission?"_

"Meet me in the back of the BBH and I'll give you the details. It's too risky to say it over the phone."

_"Okay, be there in a sec."_

_

* * *

1:00 PM. Time to turn in the money: five hours._

Shikamaru had managed to set up several different lemonade stands each accompanied by two members of the big brother house. Shika and Temari in one, Sakura, Ino, and Sasuke in another, Lee and Gaara in the third, and Tenten and Hobo Joe in the last. Their lemonade sold for 25 cents a cup. The game has been set…

It was only a matter of time before the first customer showed up. She was a little old lady who came up to Sakura and Sasuke's stand.

"Oh my? Lemonade! I'll have one glass please." Sasuke picked up a pitcher and poured some lemonade in a cup. He handed her the cup when suddenly-

"Wait a minute…" Sasuke said. "How come you came up to THIS stand when Shikamaru's was closer…"

Sasuke gasped.

"YOU MUST BE ITACHI IN DISGUISE!!!!!!!" Sasuke held up his katana.

"DIE YOU SON OF A BIRCH!!!! CHIDORI!!!!" the chidori sliced the little old lady in half. Sakura stared. Then-

"SASUKE YOU FLIPPIN IDIOT!!!!! THAT WAS OUR CUSTOMER!!!!!!"

"I thought for sure it was Itachi…" Sasuke replied.

"YOU FLIPPIN-!!!!!" Sakura held up a picture of Itachi.

"MAGEKYOU SHARINGAN!!!!" Sasuke fell on the floor.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! WHY ITACHI!!!! WHYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!"

Meanwhile Shika and Temari were not pleased.

"What a drag… Sasuke killed a potential customer. At this rate, we'll get no money… not to mention Cataclyptic will make this a living hell for us…"

"Remember what he did to Ino?" Temari said. Shika shivered.

"Yeah… I wonder how he got all those spider eggs up her nose…" They both shivered at that thought.

_Meanwhile behind the bushes…_

Orochimaru watched. They still hadn't noticed him. Good. The Jiraya came over behind the bushes to Oro.

"Whats the mission?" Jiraya asked.

"Did you bring the camera?" Jiraya flashed it at Orochimaru.

"Good… my friend, we are about to embark on the most dangerous mission of all! Even more horrifying than sealing the ten tailed kitten of doom! Even more terrible than taking out all of Akatsuki! My friend we are going to-

Oro bent close to jirayas ear.

"…peep on Tsunade."

"GAAAAAAAASSSSSSSPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!" Jiraya said. "ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!! SHE ALMOST KILLED ME LAST TIME!!!!!!!"

"I know… but! If we work together… _two_ of the Sannin! She wouldn't be able to catch us…" Jiraya pondered this for a second. "And, should we succeed, we will have a video of her stripping herself…" Oro said. Both men turned red at that thought and smiled lustfully.

"I'm in." Jiraya said.

"Excellent answer! Here's the plan…" Oro pulled out a poke ball. "Go Kabuto!" Kabuto popped out of the pokeball.

"Wow. Kabuto is a pokemon?" Jiraya asked.

"it's a shellfish type." Oro answered as kabuto pulled out a diagram.

"I have observed that everyday, at 3:45 PM, Tsunade goes to the bathhouse to do her business. She is completely isolated from Shizune at this time, so you two will have to peep at the north side of the wall because she never turns there for some reason. Video tape her until 3:59 because she leaves at two o clock." Kabuto explained.

"Kabuto, return!" Kabuto went back in his pokeball.

"Lets go." Jiraya said. The two perverts ran off to the bathhouse.

_Back to the BBH…_

Another person came up to Tenten and Hobo- Joes shop. It was Ayame from the ramen shop.

"Scuse me! One lemonade!" she said. Hobo Joe brought out the pitcher and poured some lemonade into a cup. Ayame looked in disgust.

"Why the hell is it full of bugs?" Shino looked down. The cup was not full of lemonade, but of random squirming bugs.

"Hmm." Shino said. He quickly opened the pitcher and it too was full of bugs.

"Uh oh. My bugs must have drunk all of our lemonade."

"THANKS A LOT HOBO JOE!!!!!" Tenten screamed as she hit him with a kunai.

"MY. NAME. IS. SHINOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" he screamed back. Temari and Shikamaru didn't look so good either. Not one customer had shown up to their stand.

"Why won't anyone come over here?" Temari said.

"Maybe its because we have the Gieco lizard right next to us?" Shika turned to the other side of the stand.

"**Hey Shikamaru. Got any little kids for me to eat?" **the Geico lizard said hopefully.

"No, can't be." Shika replied. He turned back to Temari. "Let's kiss since we're not doing anything. Temari smiled and leapt on Shika, tossing him to the ground so that they could THIS SCENE HAS BEEN BLEEPED OUT BY THE EDITOR, AND THERE IS AN EDITOR OF THIS STORY IN CASE YOUR WONDERING. WHAT? YOU DIDN'T THINK THERE WAS AN EDITOR? YOU SON OF A- THIS SCENE HAS BEEN BLEEPED OUT BY THE SECOND EDITOR AND HAS FIRED THE PRIVIOUS EDITOR FOR USING STRONG LANGUAGE. PARTICULARLY ENGLISH, FRENCH, GERMAN, JAPANEESE (GO FIGURE) ITALIAN AND-_THIS SCENE HAS BEEN BLEEPED OUT BY THE THIRD EDITOR WHO HAS FIRED THE PREVIOUS EDITOR FOR PUTTING RANDOM NONSENSE INTO THIS STORY. WHICH REMINDS ME OF THE TIME I-__**THIS SCENE HAS BEEN BLEEPED OUT BY THE FOURTH EDITOR WHO NOTICED THE PREVIOUS THREE AND STOPPED THE FIGHTING. GOD, THEY FIGHT SO MUCH! IF I WASN'T AROUND, THEYD ALL BE DEAD! BUT DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT ME???? NOOOOOOOOO! BEING EDITOR NUMBER 4 ISNT EASY YOU KNO-**_

"WOULD YOU GUYS SHUT THE #$ UP!!!!!!" Shika and Temari screamed.

"God, there are too many editors for this story." Temari said. She was interrupted from a tap from behind.

"DUH, INO WANT SOME LEMONADE!!!" Shika and Temari turned to face Ino.

"Okay Ino, give us your quarter and we'll give you some lemonade." Ino put the quarter on the table. Satisfied, Shikamaru pulled out the pitcher when suddenly, Ino grabbed the entire pitcher and somehow swallowed it all in one gulp. Then she ran away.

"Oh well, at least we got the money." Shika said. Suddenly, the quarter was flung through the air and pulled itself into Ino's hand.

"It was attached to a string, wasn't it?" Temari said.

"I'M GONNA KILL THAT SON OF A-

"Calm down Shikamaru! We still have one more pitcher!" to show him proof, Temari pulled out a second pitcher and opened it. It was full of bugs.

"HOBO JOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

_The bathhouse.__ 4:44 PM…_

Jiraya and Orochimaru were placed in the bathhouse. They had hidden themselves with Jiraya's total transparency jutsu, and had put a camera in their hands, also hidden. A minute later, they saw Tsunade enter the room.

"See you later shizune." She said as she closed the door, leaving her isolated with her bath. And, unbeknownst to her, two mega pervs. She began to take off her clothes…

"OMFG!! Start filming Orochimaru!!!" Oro turned on the camera. They began to watch, growing redder and redder each second. They also got severe blood loss from there noses. They silently thanked the gods. Orochimaru and Jiraya watched as Tsunade_** THIS SCENE HAS BEEN REMOVED BY THE FOURTH EDITOR WHO HAS NOW BECOME THE ONLY EDITOR OF THIS STORY DUE TO THE FACT THAT THE PREVIOUS THREE WERE FIRED AND- OMFG!!!! TSUNADE'S HOT WHEN SHES NEKKAD!!!**_

"STOP SPYING ON ME YOU STUPID EDITOR!!!!!!"

"_**BUT THAT'S NOT FAIR… HOW COME JIRAYA AND OROCHIMARU GET TO LOOK AT YOU?"**_

"Say what?"

_**"THEY'RE EVEN FILMING YOU, HOW UNFAIR IS THAT!!!**__**"**_

Tsunade slowly turned her head to the north wall. Jiriya and oro looked at each other for a brief second.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" they screamed to each other as they ran out the door out of the bathhouse. Which soon collapsed because Tsunade used her insane strength on it. She began running after them (now wearing a towel of course).

"YOU #$ING IDIOTS ARE DEAD!!!!!!!!!" she shouted as loud as she could. Oro and Jiraya abandoned the camera, hoping to use it as a distraction for Tsunade. She ignored it chased after them. Suddenly, C poofed in to Shikamaru.

"Quick Shikamaru! Hand me the money! The governments coming!" Shika handed him an empty sack.

"YOU COULDN'T EVEN SELL ONE LEMONADE!?!?!?!?!" he screamed in both anger and fear.

"Hobo joes insects devoured it all." Shika said. Suddenly, George W. bush poofed into this fanfiction.

"Alright Cataclyptic! Hand me the money or else!" he said. C thought very quickly. He spied the camera on the ground…

"Wait! How about we instead give you this video of Tsunade taking a bath!"

"OMFG!!!!!!!!!! DEAL!!!!! DEAL!!!!!!" the president took the video and poofed away.

_Epilouge__…_

The president sat back in his comfy chair. In front of him was a giant TV. He wanted to watch every detail on his new movie…

The movie began to play and the president got a severe nosebleed.

_**BAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!**_

Tsunade punched the wall and looked at the president menacingly.

"Uh… he-hey! W-was up Tsunade?"

Tsunade cracked her knuckles…

* * *

_On the next chapter of the BBH..._

_A prank call for the akatsuki..._

_shakespears flu..._

_and Peins true power revealed..._


	13. The prank kall

_Current members of the BBH: _Sasuke, Sakura, Tenten, Temari, Shikamaru, INO, Rock Lee, Gaara, Kiba and Hobo Joe. (10)

A/N: This chapter is not meant to offend British peoplez in any way. I am running out of material.

* * *

It was 9 o clock. The usual time for two of the BBH members to get voted off. All ten of the remaining members sat in the living room. Cataclyptic poofed in. 

"Hello idiots." He said. "It is time for two of you to get voted off. Unfortunately, my midgets have informed me that only ONE person was voted off by the audience." C turned to the camera.

"VOTE PEOPLE OFF!!!!!!!!!" He screamed. He turned back to the cowering BBH members.

"Since only one has been voted off, I shall vote off two people plus the one in my note." C said holding up a note.

"The two I vote off are…" he thought for a little bit. "Tenten because she does nothing and rock Lee because he has caterpillars for eyebrows." He opened the door to find Rock Lee still trying to get inside.

"Lee, you're voted off."

"WHAAAAAAAT!?!?!?!? BUT I HAVENT EVEN GOTTEN IN THE HOUSE SINCE PART TWO!!!!!!!!"

"I know… it's tragic." C said monotonously. Tenten ran out with Lee saying something about youth.

"And the one who the audience voted off is…" suddenly, as C opened the note, the Hallelujah music came from out of nowhere.

"IT'S INO!!!!! INO!!!!!!!" C said happy as can be. He literally kicked Ino out of the house and ran inside screaming like a giddy school girl.

"INO'S GONE, INO'S GONE! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!" everyone sweat dropped as C poofed away to celebrate.

"He has a problem…" Sasuke said.

"You're one to talk Sasuke! Your fricken obsessed with killing your older brother!" Temari said.

"Am not!" Sasuke said with defiance. Temari held up a picture of Itachi.

"ITACHI!!!!! I WILL KILL YOU!!!!! CHIDORI!!!!!!" Sasuke's chidori sliced the picture in half.

"That wasn't Itachi…" Sasuke said. "An impressive genjutsu, Temari."

"Idiot…" Temari said. She walked away with Shika so they could _**BLEEPED OUT BY THE EDITOR.**_ But, everyone failed to notice someone was missing…

_Akatsuki lair…_

_**RING!!! RING!!! RING!!!**_

The Akatsuki phone began to ring.

"I'll get it, Hm." Deidara said. He walked over to pick up the phone. That's when he realized he had no arms.

"KISAME!!!! PICK UP THE PHONE FOR ME HM!!!"Deidara yelled. Kisame sighed and picked up the phone and held it to Deidara's ear.

"Hello, Hm?" Deidara said into the phone.

_"Hello? Is this __D__eidara__ speaking?"_

"Yes. Hm." Deidara said. He did not recognize the voice.

_"__Its__ quite tragic, really…"_ the voice said.

"What? What happened, Hm?"

_"Your momma so stupid, people said she was a loon, so she __jump__ off a cliff TO TRY AND FLY!!!"_

"WHAAAAAT!?!!!?! HOW DARE YOU MAKE FUN OF MY MOM LIKE THAT HM!?!??!!?"

"What is it Deidara?" Kisame asked.

"THAT BASTARD ON THE PHONE MADE FUN OF MY MOMMY HM!!!" Deidara said with anger. Kisame put the phone to his ear.

"HEY YOU! You can't make fun of Deidara's mom like that!!!"

_"Oh yeah?__ Well, you __were born in a __store…__ A __PET __STORE__BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"_

"WHY YOU LITTLE!!!!!!" Kisame raged. Itachi came into the room.

"Kisame! Diedara! Stop yelling, it's giving me a headache!"

"THIS BASTARD ON THE PHONE IS MAKING FUN OF US!!!!!"

"Let me see…" Itachi held up the phone.

"Hello?"

_Hello, this is the research hospital for the mentally impaired. We are proud to announce that you passed the exam, and the men in white coats will come to pick you up and take you to the funny farm._

"Sasuke? Is that you? How dare you! You lack hatred!"

_"You lack __brains."_

"Aaaarghhh!!!" Itachi said. Kakuzu came in the room.

"What's all this about then?" he asked.

"We are being made fun of!" they all said. They gave the phone to Kakuzu and ran off somewhere…

"Hello?" Kakuzu said into the phone.

_"CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!"_

"HUH?"

_"You have just won… six BILLION dollars!!!"_

"I DID!??!?!" Kakuzu exclaimed excitably.

_"QUICK! Pick up your money at the following address before someone else does!"_

"Okay, okay!!!"

_"The address is 1709 IHAVEJUSTTRICKEDYOUBECAUSEYOUAREANDIDIOTANDSTUFF."_

"OKAY!!! I will go there immediately!" Kakuzu ran off.

_"Idiot…"_ the person on the phone said. Another member walked into the room.

"Hello?" Sasori said.

_"Knock __knock__!"_

"…who's there."

_"You are Stew."_

"…I am Stew who?"

_"YOU ARE STUPID!!!!! __BWAHAHAHA!!!!"_

"….Who are you?"

_"Uh…__CONGRATULATIONS!!!"_

"What?"

_"YOU HAVE BEEN NOMINATED 'IDIOT OF THE YEAR!!!"_

"…Is that it?"

_"Um… okay why aren't you screaming mad at me now?"_

"I have no emotion. I am a puppet."

_"Oh… WELL PINNOCHIO'S BEEN LOOKING FOR HIS BROTHER!!!! __BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!"_

"… Okay then…"

_"… JUST GIVE THE PHONE TO SOMEONE ELSE!!!!!"_Sasori shrugged and handed the phone to the leader, who just came in with Kisame, Deidara and Itachi.

"Leader! There is someone on the phone who is making fun of us!" The leader scowled and held the phone to his ears.

"Whoever you are, you will stop making fun of my members immediately!"

_Whoever you are, you will stop making fun of my members immediately!"_

"Stop copying me!"

_Stop copying me!"_

"I WILL SEVER YOR HEAD!!!!"

_"I WILL Sever YOR __HEaD__!!!!" _he said in an annoying voice.

"SHUT UP!!!!"

_"Up __SHuT__!!!!"_ the leader thought for a little bit.

"I AM AN IDIOT!!" he smirked.

_"YOU SURE ARE!!!"_

"AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!" the leader said. The person on the phone hung up.

"WE HAVE BEEN PRANK CALLED!!!" The leader said to all the members.

"GASP!!!" everyone said.

"What shall we do leader?" Kisame said.

"We will call him and see how he likes it!!!" the leader presses redial…

_Big Brother house…_

"Man that was the best!" Kiba said happily as he put the phone back on the receiver. "The Akatsuki must be so pissed at me!!"

_**RING!! RING!!**_

"Hello?" Kiba picked up the phone.

"_It is I, the Akatsuki leader!"_

"Dude, you don't give away your name in a prank call."

_"…" Kiba waited. Then_

_"Your mama is SO stupid, she smells like week old gym socks!!!"_

"…Uh, right…" Kiba said.

_"__ALSO, __You were born in a hospital in, uh, SWITZERLAND!!!! __BWAHAHAHAHA!!!"_

"… " Kiba said trying to contain his laughter.

_"__HA! Now you see the TRUE power of the Akatsuki! You must be so mad at me now! But there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!!!!! __BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"_

"…You suck at prank calling." Kiba said.

_"I do not!"_

"Do to. Just like Joe."

_"Joe? Joe who? Hobo- Joe?"_

"JOE MAMA!!!!" Kiba hung up.

_The Akatsuki lair…_

_**CLICK!**_

The phone on the other end of the receiver. The Akatsuki leader slowly put it down.

"OH NOES! HM!" Deidara said

"What do we do now leader?" Itachi said. "The prank call backfired!"

"We shall do what the Akatsuki does best…"

"Play barbie dress up? Hm?" Diedara asked.

"No."

"Kill our clans?" Itachi asked

"No. "

"Eat People???" Zetsu said.

"No…"

"Make friends?" Tobi piped up.

"NO." Kisame was the last one who didn't say anything. He thought long and hard about it.

"…macaroni art?"

"NO!!!!" the leader screamed. "WHAT THE AKATSUKI DOES BEST IS- SUEING THEM!!!!"

"YEAH!!!!" all the members said.

"TO THE SUEING PLACE!!!!!"

_The sueing place…_

The Akatsuki lost. They had to pay Cataclyptic a three dollar fine. Which was all the money they had.

"CRAP! How could we lose?" Kisame said angrily.

"No… our mission, has failed…" Itachi moaned.

"We must create a new plan." The leader ordered. "But what…"

"Why don't we just kill them?" Sasori suggested. " We should have done that in the first place." The leader sweatdropped.

"Why didn't I think of that… AKATSUKI! We shall strike down the Big brother house and-

"Throw a party?" Tobi said with a party hat on his head.

"NO! WE SHALL SLAUGHTER THEM!"

"YEAH!!!!" the Akatsuki members cheered.

"TO THE BIG BROTHER HOUSE!!!"

_Big brother house…_

"HAHAHA!!!" Hobo Joe laughed. "Good prank Kiba!"

"Yeah!" Sakura agreed. "But now won't the Akatsuki try to kill us?"

"Nah!" Kiba said.

"This is all quite troublesome. " Shikamaru said in a weird British accent. "I find the use of using the telie for that particular reason to be very styupid." Shika sipped his tea. Everyone stared in Shikamaru. Shika realized he was talking like an English person.

"GREAT SCOTT!!! I'M SPEAKING LIKE A BRIT!!!!!" He held up the tea. "AND WHEN DID THIS BLOOMIN TEA GET IN MY HAHND!!!!!"

Shika ran to the kitchen and tapped the summoning scroll by the refrigerator. Cataclyptic poofed in.

"SHIKAMARU!!!! INO'S GONE!!!!!" C said happy as ever.

"Erm… roight…" Shika spoke britily(I have no idea if that's a real word.). "Cataclyptic! I appear to be speaking in a british accent!"

"Hm. I see…" C paused for a little bit then-

"INO HAS LEFT!!!!"

"SHUT UP YOU NINNY AND TELL ME HOW I CAN BE NORMAL AGAIN!!!"

"For the record, you never were normal. But what you have is… Shakespeare's flu!"

"Erm, Whats that?" Shika asked.

"It makes you talk like a 'proper' English gentleman. Go figure. Anyway, there is no cure, but will fade in due time." C put on a party hat.

"INO'S GONE!!!!!!!" he poofed back to who knows where. Shika slumped on the couch as everyone tried to contain their laughter.

_**BOOOOOSSSSSHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!**_

A giant hole in the wall appeared. The leader stepped forth from the hole.

"WE WILL KILL YOU ALL!!!!!"

"Hey, that's my line…" Gaara said. "Get your own hobby…" the leader paused.

"Uh, We will kill you for prank calling us!!!" they all pointed to Kiba. Sakura glared at Kiba. Kiba shrugged.

"Surrender him, and we will not hurt the rest of you!"

"Rioght!" Shikamaru said. He handed Kiba over to the Akatsuki.

"By the way… was that a british accent?" The leader asked.

"Erm, you see its called shakespeares flu and-

"I KNEW IT!!!! I WILL KILL YOU ALL!!!!"

"WHAT? But why?!!?" Sakura questioned.

"I must kill all british people! Their accent is so fricken annoying… and the rest of you because you're all bad people for being friends with him!"

"What? That doesn't make any sense!!!" Temari said.

"Who cares!? We have nothing better to do, now… WE the Akatsuki challenge you to a Xiaolin showdown!!!"

"Huh?"

"Oops… I mean uh, LETS RUUUUUUUUUUUUUMBLE!!!!!!!!!"

Remember to vote off 2 people.

_

* * *

_


	14. Jailbreak: Pt 1

"LET'S RUMBLEEEEEEE!!!!!!" all of a sudden, a giant arena popped up in the room. "We shall use our WWE wrestling skillz on you!!!"

"You can't do that!" Sakura said.

"Why not?" Asked the leader.

"Because, we're ninja's! We don't USE WWE skills!"

"…SHOOT!!!!" the leader shouted in rage. Instantly the arena vanished. "Dang it! We need to wreck our revenge on the British peoples! And Kiba!"

"Why do you hate British people so much???" Temari asked. She summoned a psyche table and a chair. She went in the chair and put the Akatsuki leader on the couch.

"It all began when I was a child…" the leader said sadly…

_FLASHBACK_

A younger version of the Akatsuki leader (still shady and wearing the cloak) sat at a table in kindergarten, coloring a drawing of a poorly designed giraffe. Suddenly, he accidently knocked over his glass of water and it spilled on the picture, ruining it. The baby leader began to cry.

_END FLASHBACK_

"And that is where I swore to get revenge upon all people with a British accent!" the leader exclaimed. Temari fell over Anime style and sweat dropped.

"THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH BRITISH PEOPLE!!!!!" she yelled in rage.

"Really!?!? Then my problem is solved!" the leader jumped up and shook Temari's hand. "Thank you! You're a great psychiatrist!" Temari was stunned.

"Can we still keep Kiba though? He made fun of Deidara's mom."

"Sure, we don't care." Temari shrugged. The Akatsuki leader (and Deidara) dragged Kiba out of the BBH despite Kiba's shrieks of pain. About 20 minute's later, Cataclyptic poofed inside wearing a party hat.

"GUYS!!!!! INO LEFT!!!!!!!" he said with excitement. Suddenly, Tobi poofed in as well.

"Huh? What's he doing here?" Sakura asked. C turned towards her.

"Tobi throws killer parties." He stated. Tobi nodded in response. "Anyway, I have the votes for who will be voted off. The first is Sakura, and the other is… Jiraya!?!?" C turned to the camera.

"JIRAYA GOT VOTED OFF ALREADY!!!!!" he screamed angrily. "Great, now we need another person to be voted off…"

"That's okay." Shino piped up. "Kiba was taken away by the Akatsuki."

"Really? Cool! That means that there are only five of you left!"

_

* * *

Current members:_Sasuke Uchiha, Gaara, Temari, Shikamaru Nara, Hobo Joe.

* * *

"With only five people left (plus the Gieco lizard in the basement)" that means that there will only be two more chapters!" C said. Then, he poofed away to party some more with Tobi. The BBH members looked at one another. 

"So…we are the last ones left…" Temari said.

"It appears that way…" Shikamaru said.

"Who will win the prize…" Gaara said.

"Who will get voted off first…" Sasuke added.

"Why are we speaking way too overdramatically?" Shino asked.

"I don't know Hobo Joe… "Shika said overdramatically.

"I'M SHINO!!!!!!!!!!" Hobo Joe raged. The other four sat down on the couch.

"Soo… what's going to happen this chapter?" Sasuke asked.

"No idea." Temari said. "But, I bet something will happen in the next five seconds, knowing Cataclyptic…"

**_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP_**

_"_Like I said…" Temari said in an overdramatic voice. C poofed in looking real scared.

"GUYS! How many beeps was that!?!?"

"Uh, Five?" Hobo Joe said. C started to panic.

"OH SH#$!!!!!!" C said, obviously scared. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!?!?!?!" The BBH members started to be a little afraid. After all, if something could scare the guy who wrote this crap, then it must be scary.

"What?! What does it mean!?" Sasuke asked.

"I DON'T KNOW!!!! WHY DO YOU THINK I'M ASKING YOU GUYS!!!!" All of them fell down anime style really hard. C thought for a little bit and pulled out a booklet describing the details of the BBH.

"…Okay! Five beeps mean that someone is coming to review this fic. If he/she finds that it's a good story, we get to keep doing the story plot!"

"What if he thinks it sucks out loud…?" Gaara asked.

"Then, the fic gets cancelled." Suddenly, a knocking was heard from the front door. The door opened to reveal George W bush.

"Alright! I've come to review the story!" he said. He inspected the BBH.

"Yep. Uh huh." He looked at the five remaining characters. "Mmhmm… Just as I thought!" he turned to Cataclyptic.

"Did we pass?"

"Well, from what I can tell… You're story is a piece of crap." Everyone sweat dropped.

"Saw that coming." Temari said.

"And therefore…" George bush added. "I will cancel this fan fiction! And Cataclyptic shall be locked up in jail!"

"WHAT!?!?" C panicked. "But why!??! What's so horrible about the story!?!?"

"Well, Tsunade beat the crud out of me in that pizza chapter. And I blame you."

"How is that MY fault!?!?" C said angry.

"I don't know. I just don't want to blame myself." C stared in terror and anger at the same time. How he does that I'll never know…

"ARREST HIM!!!!!" Bush shouted, pointed towards Cataclyptic. Several armed guards stormed through the front door and put C in a straightjacket. Then they put all kinds of handcuffs on him on every place on his body, enabling him not able to even move or see anything. Then, an armored car somehow came through the door without breaking it, the men loaded C into it, and then the car took off.

"Where is he going?" Shikamaru asked.

"He is going to a maximum security prison and will not be let out until 2024. Good day." George bush went back to where he came from. The BBH members stared at the scene for a little bit. Then, they let out a shriek of joy and began to pack their things. Shika put his kunai and strings into his backpack. Temari packed her beauty supplies, magazines and toothbrush. Hobo Joe packed his extra coats and a can of INSECT ATTRACTOR. Gaara packed his sand gourd and rum. Sasuke packed his numerous pictures of Itachi, then pulled them back out and burnt them instead. After about ten minutes, every member was at the door, ready to finally leave the accursed house.

"We finally get to leave!" Temari said with glee. "We can finally lead (semi) normal lives!"

"Yeah! We just need to get back to Konoha now!" Hobo Joe said. He opened the door-

And saw they were in the middle of a desert.

"…" they all said in shock.

"Why have we never noticed that the Big Brother House was in the middle of a desert!?" Sasuke said in rage. "Oh well… we are ninja's! We will cross it easy with our ninjutsu skillz! And then kill Itachi!"

"I don't think so…" Gaara said. "This is the Alabastan desert… it will be another 100,000 miles before we reach any source of water…"

"WHAT!?!?! Say wait- how do you know that this is the Alabastan desert?" Hobo Joe asked.

"The sand speaks to me…" everyone sweat dropped.

"Great! How are we supposed to get to Konoha and kill Itachi now?!?!" Sasuke said.

"Wait! I know." Shika said, waiting to blurt out the answer. "Cataclyptic can use the shadow shift jutsu. If we break him from prison, he can help us get to Konoha."

"How are we going to do that?" Temari questioned. "We don't even know where the prison is located!"

"Actually, it's right behind the BBH…" Shika pointed. Temari and all the rest were shocked to see a sleek prison cell about 40 feet from the house.

"I love you Shikamaru!" Temari then **THIS SCENE HAS BEEN DELETED BY THE EDITOR DUE TO- BAH!!!! WHO CARES!!!! NO ONE LISTENS TO ME!!!!! WHY DID I HAVE TO GET THE JOB OF BEING THE EDITOR OF THIS STUPID STORY!? I SHOULD HAVE FINISHED COLLEGE!!!!! IF ONLY-**

"SHUT THE HECK UP YOU STUPID EDITOR!!!!!!" everyone yelled.

_

* * *

Meanwhile in prison…_

Cataclyptic (still gagged to the point where he couldn't move) was thrown into a jail cell.

"You'll be in there ti'll you rot!" Bush said. He then closed the jail cell. C stood up, but aside from that, he could not move any other part of his body.

"Mm!!!Mm-mmm-m-mmmm!?!? (Guys! Untie me! Pretty please?)" Cataclyptic said, trying to get the attention of one of his cell mates. If he even had any…

"Say what puny man?!?!" a gruff voice said. C tried to establish contact once more.

"Mm-mm-mmm mm! (get this thing off!)" The stranger apparently did not understand.

"I can't hear a thing you're saying!" he said. "Let me take this off for ya'." He removed the duct tape off of Cataclyptics mouth and the bandages from his eyes.

"Thank you miste-

C was surprised to see that his cell mate was none other than-

"OMIGOD!!! YOR STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!"

"Yep. One and only, puny man." Austin said. "So, what did you get busted for?"

"That's just it! I didn't DO anything!" C replied.

"Small world." Stone cold said. "There was this one person who pissed me off. So I tried to kill her, but then they arrested me."

"Wait- her???" C said.

"Yeah. First lady I've ever seen wrestle in my life. But she was fricken retarded! Makes me mad just thinkin' about it…"

"Was her name Ino?"

"Yeah! That's it!" Austin said bitterly.

"I know her! I also tried to kill her (but couldn't for some reason…)!! She makes me mad too!"

"Once we get out of here, let's crush her to hell!"

"Yeah!" C said. However he could not move his arms.

"Could you get all these numerous handcuffs off me so that we can escape?"

"Sorry. Can't break through metal, puny man."

"Crud!"

_

* * *

Outside the jail center…_

"So here's the plan." Temari said. "We sneak in, wreck havoc, and rescue Cataclyptic."

"Gotcha!" everyone else said.

"Good. Any questions?" Sasuke raised his hand.

"Yes?"

"When do we get to kill Itachi?"

"…if you see Itachi inside the prison, you may kill him…"

"Alright!" Sasuke said with glee.

"I've also got something that will come in handy…" Shikamaru said mysteriously.

"What?"

"You'll see." Shika smiled.

"LET'S GO!!!!!" Hobo Joe shouted.

**_BOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**

Hobo Joe smashed the wall open. They were immediately met by numerous guards.

"I SAID SNEAK HOBO JOE!!!!!!" Temari shouted angrily.

"I'M SHINOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Hobo Joe shouted back. While they were fighting, all of the guards had guns pointed towards them.

"I'll handle this…" Gaara said. He raised his hands. "…Sand Burial!"

A giant wave of sand came down and imploded the guards one by one. When that was finished, all of the Nins ran down the halls. They saw a door that said Maximum Security and decided to go to that. They opened the door and found exactly five hallways.

"Cataclyptic could be in any one." Sasuke said.

"We shall split up." Shika decided. All of them raced down a different hallway.

_

* * *

Meanwhile…_

"Sir!" an armored guard ran into a room. President Bush turned around.

"What is it?" he asked.

"We have just received word that an unidentified group of ninja's have infiltrated the prison, and are trying to break Cataclyptic free!" Bush thought for a little bit.

"Crush them all!" he said.

"But sir! They killed all of our soldiers!

"…Crud!" bush thought once more. "Do we still have the Beta 3 robot?"

"Yeah."

"Then let's go!" Bush and the guard ran off…

* * *

_Hobo Joe…_

Shino checked all of the gates, but all contained regular prisoners, and not one as devious as Cataclyptic. He checked in one cell-

**THIS SCENE HAS BEEN DELETED BY THE EDITOR DUE TO THE FACT THAT NO ONE IS PAYING HIM FOR SAYING THIS SH#$, SO THE EDITOR HAS DECIDED TO SAY RANDOM THINGS LIKE 'BLUBBER' FOR THE REST OF THE STORY. DEAL WITH IT.**

"Shut up editor!" Hobo Joe said angrily.

**YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE BEING AN EDITOR HOBO JOE… ALL YOU DO IS TAKE OUT ALL THE EXPLICIT SCENES THAT EVERYONE WANTS TO SEE ANYWAY!!! AND IF YOU DON'T DO IT, YOU DON'T GET PAID… WHICH CATACLYPTIC HARDLY DOES ANYWAY…**

"Wow. I had no idea… and I'm Shino." Suddenly, Shino got an idea. "I know! If you help us find Cataclyptic, then maybe he will be grateful and give you more money!"

**REALLY!?!? SWEET! OKAY, I'M PRETTY SURE THAT HE IS IN THE CELL AT THE END OF THE HALLWAYS.**

Hobo Joe headed off in that direction. The editor told everyone else where C was hidden, and all the rest raced off in the direction. Soon, all four of them met up in the final hallway.

"Yes! We're all here!" Temari said.

"Yep." Shika said.

"Let's go rescue Cataclyptic…" Gaara muttered.

"Let's!" Hobo Joe added. They raced down the hallway when suddenly-

"Wait!" Shika shouted. All the members stopped in their tracks. "Where's Sasuke!?!?"

* * *

_Somewhere in the fifth hall…_

**I'M TELLING YOU! GO TO THE END OF THE HALLWAY!** The editor said to Sasuke.

"…How do I know you're not Itachi luring me into a trap?" Sasuke said suspiciously.

**BECAUSE I'M THE EDITOR!**

"…How do I know that the editor isn't Itachi?"

**FOR THE LOVE OF- FINE!!!! DON'T LISTEN TO ME! **The editor's voice vanished, and Sasuke stayed put.

I could still use any ideas you guys could give me.

_On the next chapter…_

_Anyone's guess is as good as mine…_


	15. Jailbreak: Pt 2

_Previously on Big brother house…_

**THIS SCENE HAS BEEN DELETED DUE TO EXPLICIT CONTENT.**

_NO! Not that one!_

**OH. SORRY. I'LL GET IT RIGHT THIS TIME.**

_Okay. Previously on Big brother house…_

All the girls: WE'RE FAAAAATTTTT!!

_NO YOU IDIOT!! CHAPTER 14!!_

**OH YEAH.**

_PREVIOUSLY ON BIG BROTHER HOUSE-_

**UH, WHICH ONE WAS THAT AGAIN?**

_THE ONE WHERE CATACLYPTIC GETS INTO JAIL YOU IDIOT!!_

**OH YEAH.**

_Previously on Big brother house…_

**WAIT, I DIDN'T READ THAT CHAPTER…**

_AAAAAARRRGGGHHH!! WHATEVER!! WE'LL JUST GO TO THE STORY!!_

_

* * *

_

Cataclyptic's Jail cell…

"AGAIN!!" C yelled.

"WAAARRGGG!!" Stone cold stave Austin smashed C's head against the Jail cell. C's newest plan of escape. His head hit the cold steel bars, and made not even a dent.

"Crap…"

"It's not working puny man!" Stone cold said. "We need a new plan!"

"Okay! I've got another one…" C whispered into Austin's ear.

"You have one of those?" Austin said in shock.

"Yes! In my back pocket!" C hunched down, and Stone cold reached into Cataclyptic's back pocket. He pulled out a scroll.

"This it?"

"Yes! That's it!" C said. "It's called a summoning scroll, put some of your blood on it and shout 'Summoning jutsu' in an overdramatic voice, and then a giant bat will appear and bust us out!"

"Okay! Just one problem puny man!"

"What's that?"

"I'm scared of blood…" C fell down anime style.

_

* * *

_

Sasuke…

Sasuke decided to run down the hallway. When he came to the end, everyone was gone.

"They must have gone to save Cataclyptic." Sasuke concluded. He began to run, when a shadowed figure stopped him.

"Who are you?" Sasuke said.

"I am… YOR FATHER!!" The figure ripped off his cape to reveal Itachi with a Darth Vader mask on.

"…No you're not, you're my brother…" Sasuke sweat dropped.

"Oh yeah." Itachi ripped of the mask.

"Wait a minute- ITACHI!!" Sasuke made his sharingan active.

"That's right. And, you lack hatred." Itachi pointed.

"I WILL KILL YOU!!" Sasuke ran towards Itachi.

_

* * *

_

The rest of the team…

Temari, Shikamaru, Hobo Joe, and Gaara ran towards the end of the hallway. They finally saw a couple of Jail cells that were very conformative. They looked in each one, and finally found Cataclyptic!

"Cartaclyptic!" Temari yelled.

"Huh?" C turned around. "YOU GUYS!! YOU CAME FOR ME!!" A tear slid across his face. "You really do care about me…"

"Nah. We just need you to get us home." C fell down anime style.

"Who are they puny man?!" Stone cold asked.

"These are my characters for my TV show!" C replied. "Now then… break me out please! And- Stone cold Steve Austin too!"

"Alright, stand back…" Hobo Joe said. A bunch of insects came off of his coat and attacked the bars of the jail cell. Within seconds, they had been eaten away.

"Alright! Thanks Hobo- Joe!

"I'M SHINOOOOOOO!!" Hobo Joe screamed. All six of them ran towards the exit.

"Wait, where's Sasuke?" C asked.

"Who cares?" Shikamaru replied.

"Good point." They kept on running down and down the hall. Suddenly-

_**FLIP!!**_

The floor turned over randomly! The BBH cast was hurled down into the basement! They tumbled for a second, then landed in a dark, cold and musty room.

"Where are we?" Shino asked.

"_**YOR DOOM!!"**_

Suddenly, the lights turned on. In front of them was an enormous super big robot with laser turrets and who knows what else on it!!

Oh, and the president was in it.

"_**Meet your doom, pathetic fools! The Beta 3 Robot!" **_Bush said from inside the cockpit.

"OH NOES!! NOT A BETA 3 ROBOT!!" Everyone screamed. "Say, what's a Beta 3 robot?"

"_**The Beta 3 robot is this Jails centers most powerful weapon! It will decimate you completely, and then I will get your ashes and dance on them! BWAHAHAHAHA!!"**_

"He's a really bad villain." Shika said.

"I know." Temari said.

"_**GRR!! You will pay for that!"**_ The beta 3 launched an assault of missiles upon the group.

"Wind style: gust jutsu!" Temari blew her fan, and it blew all the missiles back at the robot.

"_**Oh crap."**_

_**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSHHHHHH!!**_

The Beta 3 robot blew up. All that was left was Bush.

"We've got you now Bush!" Shino said, his bugs in the air.

"WAIT!! THAT'S NOT FAIR!!" Bush wailed. "Stay there, I'll be right back!" Bush exited the room. Soon afterwards, there was whispering and then followed by the clanking of metal and various mechanical noises. After about 20 minutes, the noises stopped, and a new robot went into the room.

"_**Sorry about that. This is the new Beta 4 robot! This time, its missile proof! Now let's have a real boss battle!"**_ The Beta 4 lurched forwards at them.

"DUCK!!" C yelled. The cast leaped aside as the robot slammed into a wall.

"Now it my turn!" Stone cold said. "Stone cold jutsu: Mega smash attack!" Stone cold punched the robot really really hard, and left a gigantic dent into it. But then the robot grabbed Austin and hurled him back at the ground! Cataclyptic picked up some kunai and threw them, but the robot dodged them all. The Beta 4 launched its laser beam at the group. The entire scene was now covered in rubble. Suddenly, a shadowed hand burst from the rubble.

"Sand burial!" it murmured. The robot got covered in sand.

"Sand implosion!" Gaara said. The robot imploded with blood spewing everywhere.

"DAMN YOU GAARA!!" said bush as he died. The entire cast cheered in victory. Then, c held up his hand.

"And now to see who is voted off." He ripped the paper. "Shikamaru and Sasuke." C made Shika go away much to Temari's disappointment.

"Wait, where's Sasuke?"

* * *

Sasuke stood above Itachi, both of them bloodied up. Itachi lay below Sasuke, near death.

"Finally… I get to kill you…" Sasuke said. He raised his Katana. "Now… DIE!!" however, C poofed into the room and stopped Sasuke.

"Sasuke, you've been voted off."

"I DON'T CARE! I STILL GET TO KILL ITACHI!" Sasuke said in glee.

"Actually, no you don't." C poofed Sasuke away. Itachi smiled.

"Thank you Cataclyptic."

"Anything for Akatsuki! You guys rule!" Itachi poofed away.

_

* * *

_

BBH

"And so it is decided. I will send you back to Konoha right after the last chapter is finished." C said.

"Agreed!" the three person cast shouted.

"Also… For helping me break out of Jail, the editor will be payed an additional 3 cents."

"**ALL RIGHT!!" **The editor said in delight.

"And so, there is only one chapter left." C paced about. "The one who is left will get a prize!" The BBH members smiled.

"There's just one thing I don't get though…" C said. "Why didn't you guys just tap the summoning scroll by the fridge to break me out?"

All the BBH members fell down anime style.

* * *

One chapter left! Two people voted off! Will the winner be Temari, Gaara or Hobo joe?

Shino: I'M SHINOOOOOOOO!!


	16. The Final Chapter!

THE FINAL CHAPTER!!

….

MY CAPS LOCK IS BROKEN AGAIN!!

* * *

Cataclyptic stood pacing in the house, when the camera turned on. C turned to the camera.

"HELLO THERE! AND WELCOME TO BIG BROTHER HOUSE! THIS IS THE FINAL CHAPTER, WHERE SOMEONE WILL GET A PRIZE!" C said.

"WHO IS IT?" Temari asked.

"WHATS WRONG WITH OUR SPEECH?" Hobo Joe asked.

"AH YES, THAT IS A PROBLEM…" C said. "YOU SEE, THE CAPS LOCK IS BROKEN, AND THEREFORE, WE CAN ONLY SPEAK IN CAPS! GO FIGURE."

"CRAP!" Everyone yelled.

"THERE'S AN EVEN WORSE PROBLEM!" C said. "DUE TO THE FACT THAT THIS STORY IS IDIOTIC AND NO ONE CARES ABOUT IT; BECAUSE ALL WE CAN SAY IS CAPITAL LETTERS, I CAN'T READ THE VOTES FOR WHO WON!!"

"OH NOES!" Everyone screamed.

"LET ME TRY TO READ IT…" Gaara said. He picked up the paper and looked at it. It said _OHJOBEO._

"I CAN'T READ IT EITHER…" Gaara said.

"AND SO, THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT WHO REALLY WON…" C began "WE MUST FIND THE ANTI- CAPS LOCK JUTSU, AND USE IT TO UNDO THIS MESS!" C pulled out a map from under his purple cloak.

"WE MUST TRAVEL TO CHINA, WHERE THE XIOALIN MONKS RESIDE; THEY PROBABLY KNOW WHERE IT IS." C summoned a jet- plane.

"TO THE XIAOLIN TEMPLE!" C pointed dramatically in the air.

_

* * *

_

Later…

The jet plane stopped and landed next to a white temple. C stepped out and was greeted by a hick with a cowboy hat, a lingerie model with black pig- tails, a wannabe gangster with a shirt that said _Rai got bling bling baby_, and a freakishly short guy wearing Pajamas.

"Yo, wassup C-dawg?" Raimundo said.

"HI RAIMUNDO, WE NEED YOUR HELP TO FIND THE ANTI- CAPS LOCK JUTSU! OUR SPPECH IS MESSED UP!"

Rai thought for awhile.

"Yo man, I got nuthin'. What you think, homees?" Rai asked everybody.

Omi: I don't know where it is.

Clay: I ain't got no idear where that there spell it is.

Kimiko: I'm so hott.

Omi then snapped his fingers.

"Oh! Perhaps master fungus knows where it resides!" Omi ran to fetch master fung, when suddenly a deformed blue thing with a tiny head blocked him.

"**I R 4poc4lypse! Feer m3 nd my 4wsome txt spk!!" **it said.

"APOCALYPSE, NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU." Cataclyptic said.

"**U R 2 cruul…" **Apocalypse said sadly. **"N0 m4attr! 1 w1ll d3str0y U!!"** Apocalypse gathered an energy ball of darkness and hurled it at the group.

"I WILL KILL YOU…" Gaara said. "SAND BURIEL…" a giant wave of sand came and crushed Apocalypse. Apocalypse managed to get out.

"**0h ye4?? T4ke th1s!!"** He gathered his energy and made a clone of himself.

"**N0w th3re R 2 of m3!" **He said. Shino shrugged and made hand signs.

"SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!" ten thousand shadow clones pooped up. Apocalypse was dumbfounded. The Shino clones beat Apocalypse into pulp.

"Yo, man! That was off the hizhouse!" Rai said, making weird signs with his hands.

"I'm so hott." Kimiko said.

"We am are gonna take youresleves to master fungus now later!" Clay said. He escorted them to a severely aged old man.

"What is it…" he said weakly. C approached him

"WE NEED YOU TO TELL US THE LOCATION OF THE ANTI- CAPS LOCK JUTSU." He said. Master fungus closed his eyes.

"It is in… Disneyland!"

"DISNEY LAND!? WHY?!" all the characters asked.

"Who cares." Fungus said. "Now go!"

The jet plane landed in Disneyland.

"NOW, WHERE COULD IT BE?" Cataclyptic wondered.

"LET'S ASK WALT DISNEY." Temari asked.

"UH, DISNEY IS DEAD." Shino said.

"GOOD TIMES…" Gaara remarked. Everyone stared at Gaara. Then Temari answered Shino's question.

"THAT DOESN'T MATTER, HOBO JOE."

"I'M SHINOOOOOO!!" Hobo Joe wailed. Temari implanted a seal on the ground, then shouted

"REANIMATION JUTSU!" a coffin rose from the ground, and opened to reveal Disney inside of it.

"Yo." He said. Then he looked at Gaara.

"AAAAAAAGGGHHH!! KEEP HIM AWAY FROM MEEE!!" he said in a scared voice. C made Gaara go away for a minute.

"WE SEEK THE ANTI- CAPS LOCK JUTSU." Cataclyptic said. "DO YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS?"

"Oh yes. In fact, I have it right now." Disney said. He pulled out a scroll tied with a red ribbon.

"Enjoy!" he said, then he went back into his coffin, and into the ground real fast because Gaara had just came back.. C held the scroll out triumphantly.

"YES! WE CAN SEE WHO WON!" suddenly, a blue hand snatched the scroll out of C's hands.

"**Ha! I, 4poc4lypse, h4ve succ3essfu11y st0ln y0r scr0ll!! I R so 3vil!!"**

"AW GREAT! NOW THE BLUE GUY HAS THE SCROLL!" Hobo Joe said. Temari stepped up and unveiled her wind fan.

"WIND SCYTHE!" she said, and immediately, a giant gust of wind blew at Apocalypse, who was thrown back to a brick wall.

"ATTACK MY INSECTS!" Shino commanded. Insects fluttered from his body to Apocalypse, and they began to eat him up.

"SAND BURIEL…" Gaara said in a creepy voice. Sand dropped and it imploded, destroying Apocalypse for good.

"AW MAN! NOW I HAVE TO FIND A NEW SUPER VILLAIN FOR MY XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN SERIES…" Cataclyptic said sadly. "OH WELL… AT LEAST WE HAVE THE ANTI CAPS- LOCK JUTSU." C opened the scroll. He read the contents, and implanted a seal on the ground.

"ANTI CAPS- LOCK JUTSU!"

_**FWIIIIIIIIISSSSHHHHH!!**_

A giant burst of light lit up the park, and then it was over.

"We're talking normally!" Teamri said excitably.

"Woot!" Shino pumped his fist in the air.

"Whatever…" Gaara said in his emo- voice. "So anyway, who won…?" Gaara asked. C paused. He then flipped out the voting papers.

"Okay… for the final voting of the BBH… we have…" C scanned the contents.

"One vote for Shino…" C said. Shino's face lit up.

"One vote for Temari…" Temari's eyes narrowed.

"One vote for Gaara…" Gaara did his usual poker face.

"…… And that's it! It was a three way tie!" C said. All three members fell anime style.

"So who won!?" they all asked. C thought for a little bit.

"Well… since it's a tie… I guess you all lose!" C said.

"WHAAAAAAAATTTTTTT!?" Everyone screamed.

"Uh, You guys don't have to talk in capitals anymore." C pointed out.

"WE DON'T CARE!! WE'RE MAD!!" they all screamed. Suddenly, Naruto and Hinata popped out from nowhere.

"You mean I got us all into this mess for nothing!?" he said angrily.

"AND WE GOT VOTED OFF FOR NOTHING?!" Kakashi, Guy and the third Hokage screamed. All the previous members of the big brother house surrounded Cataclyptic in a furious manner.

"Uh… no hard feelings guys? Guys?"

And that was the last anyone saw of the infamous Cataclyptic…



* * *

C: Well, that's all folks! I'd like to thank everyone who made this fic possible (reviewers) and, I hope you stay in tune for my other Fics as well! Thank you and Goodbye! Literally! I'm a ghost now, and I have to go to heaven…

Devil: nuh uh! You're going to HELL!

C: WHAT!? BUT WHY!?

Devil: Because you made almost all the characters of Naruto suffer extreme torment for 16 whole chapters!

C: Aww man…

* * *

Be sure to check our my other stories! I do not own Naruto, nor xiaolin showdown. I do own Apocalypse, and the broken caps lock.


End file.
